A Comment on the Article "Men Are Not Always Cruel and Women Are Not Always Oppressed"
By
Ghulam Ghaus Siddiqi, New Age Islam
26 July
2023
Equal
Reforms Are Needed For Both Men and Women
Main
Points:
1. Miss
Kaniz Fatma highlights injustice and brutality in her article, emphasizing
the need for women to reform and respect men's rights.
2. She highlights three instances of violent
killings of men, but most reformers focus on a single perspective.
3. Social media users often discuss
divorce, assuming men are solely responsible, overlooking women's moral
education, leading to reprehensible decisions.
4. Marriage success depends on both
partners being prepared and content, rather than dishonest or unprepared. Force
alone is not enough for a happy marriage.
5. To prevent violent incidents, it is
crucial to promote awareness and reform both males and females, addressing the
root causes of these issues.
------
The three
occurrences listed by Miss Kaniz Fatma in her article
are unquestionably striking illustrations of injustice and brutality. She
stressed the urgent need to reform women and teach them to respect the rights
of men, just as efforts are being undertaken to reform males. She gave three
examples of women who killed males violently. These kinds of incidents are
frequent, yet the majority of our reformers continue to consider just a single
perspective in their writings and speeches, omitting the necessity of reforming
women.
Nowadays,
some social media users think it would be a good idea to discuss divorce with
everyone. In such a discussion, it tends to be assumed that males are always to
blame for the circumstances leading to divorce. Then, only men are condemned
and instructed to change themselves, ignoring the moderate path that demands
that women also be morally schooled to behave in a calm and rational manner so
that the situation does not result in divorce. I totally concur that hastily
uttering the words of divorce and giving up on possibilities for reconciliation
are extremely reprehensible and bad decisions.
Islam has
made it clear that it dislikes divorce while simultaneously allowing it in very
dire and inevitable circumstances between couples. Although Islam did not ban
divorce and did not require a man and woman to lead a forced marital life, it
is known through tradition that divorce is one of the lawful things that Allah
Almighty dislikes the most.
It is
absolutely a good idea to talk about women's rights, but doing so at the
expense of men's rights and without focusing on the equal reformation of both
men and women amounts to tacitly condoning the crimes that women commit against
males in our society, such as the occurrences listed in Miss Kaniz Fatma’s
article. Looking at the reports of the reform movements, it is obvious that
equal treatment in the case of reforming both genders is seriously missing.
Sometimes someone only seems interested in seducing or leading her astray by
making them hostile towards men. There could be several reasons, one of which
could be to instil the idea in Muslim women that Muslim males are unjust
towards them.
We also
know that certain people have reduced women to nothing more than objects for
display and spectacle in the name of so-called freedom and hypocritical
respect, and they are actively and ostensibly leading a campaign to sell and
advertise her honour and dignity. In light of the circumstances, the path of
moderation and equality requires that our culture make sure that both men and
women are made aware of their responsibilities whenever we address issues that impact
men and women differently or when we talk about their rights.
A one-sided
reformation focus is ineffective. Additionally, portraying males solely as
oppressors would be detrimental to our society. In this day and age of social
media and mobile technology, young girls in our culture who encounter one-sided
viewpoints and anti-male remarks also experience a derogatory impact on their
thoughts that men are frequently violent and harsh, which results in them
developing negative feelings towards men.
As a result,
it is essential to educate women about their own rights and obligations in
addition to teaching men about a woman's rights. This approach does not need to
be used to hypocritically mislead women into developing a hostile attitude
towards males. Instead, it can be used to advance gender fairness and moral
behaviour.
The sad
thing is that, due to how evil-minded today's culture has become when some
people discover that Islamic texts teach women morality and promote religious
and worldly wellbeing, they mistakenly believe or spread propaganda that women
in Islam are oppressed, forced, and have no freedom at all. Their only goal is
to associate their own negative impression with what is actually favourable and
best for women.
They adopt
servitude to evil Nafs and desires in exchange for their slavery to the
Lord Almighty because they don't grasp what it truly means to be free. They
believe that this is their freedom and prefer enslavement to Nafs than
servitude to God while luring women to follow suit. As a result, they fall
short in their endeavours to genuinely reform society.
Instead of
focusing on reforms for both sexes and preparing them for fulfilling their
respective obligations and responsibilities towards one another, they could be
seen wasting all of their intellectual energy on fruitless debates, such as the
one about why only men are allowed to divorce and not women.
Some people
can be seen sticking to their innate propensity to question the divine plan,
using their created faculty of thought as a weapon against the One who created
brains and intellects. Islam has never condemned asking inquiries or thinking
about ideas in order to gain knowledge of divine wisdom.
I
frequently ponder the wisdom of the divine law that grants men the exclusive
right to pronounce the divorce decree while excluding women. Even though I do
not fully understand the reasoning of certain of Allah’s commands, the salutary
response that I receive is that His divine utterance is true, unalterable, and
beneficial for all ages. This is because the Holy Qur'an teaches that one must
trust that Allah Almighty's divine utterance is true and just.
Our minds
and intellects were formed by Allah Almighty, thus if our minds logically
consider and concur with the divine Laws, then our intellectual outcomes are
acceptable. However, when our minds are unable to comprehend the wisdom and
goodness of the divine plan and Laws, we believers must reject the demands of
our minds and submit to the divine Laws and mandates. The history of minds
indicates that they are not transcendent from errors; however, the divine
directives of Allah Almighty are completely free from any potential faults.
Our
rational approach may lead us to believe that Allah Ta'ala has created only one
path to be released from the contract of marriage. This one path indicates that
only men, not women, have the right to utter the words of divorce. On the other
hand, Allah has created two ways to enter into a marriage contract. The two
routes here signify that both men and women must give their agreement in order
to engage into a marriage contract and establish a married partnership.
Why is
divorce a possibility, one could wonder. One argument makes the point that
since different human needs can arise for a man and a woman at different times,
there are some circumstances in which a man and a woman may feel compelled to
break off their marriage. Islam commands them to part ways amicably and
peacefully when they are in a severe circumstance. In all compulsive
circumstances, they are not compelled by Islam to maintain their marriages.
In Islam,
men have the authority to declare a divorce, but women have the option of
obtaining Khula if they don't wish to stay in their marriages. There are more
methods that women can employ in accordance with traditional jurisprudence to
gain access to divorce. These include conditional or delegated divorce
[Talaq-e-Tafwiz], where the wife puts a clause in her marital contract granting
her the right to pronounce the words of divorce independently in certain
predetermined situations.
According
to Islam, spouses should work to make their union successful and enjoyable. In
order to make a marriage successful, Islam established rights and obligations
for both husbands and wives towards one another. It also stated rewards for
those who exercise patience in the face of adversity. The Prophet Muhammad
(peace be upon him) is reported to have said in a hadith, "Best among you
is one who is best to his wife, and I am best among you in my dealings with my
wives." (At-Tirmidhi). While Islam does not like divorce, Islam does not
ban it either.
Even though
Islam dislikes divorce, it does not completely ban it. Instead, Islam
instructed the spouses on how to reconcile and, if that failed, how to leave a
relationship when it was no longer possible. If one applied logic to the
Islamic perspective, they might come to the conclusion that marriage will only
be successful when both partners are ready for it. The pressure won't work if
even one of them is dishonest or unprepared. Force could not make marital life
successful. The hearts of the spouses must be content and at peace with one
another for a happy marriage.
When a
husband and wife are not living in harmony and love, when their cohabitation
leads to severe conflicts, violence, or unfaithfulness, and when all attempts
to make things better between them have failed, they may decide to file for
divorce. But even then, Islam instructs them to carry out this process with
kindness. Allah Almighty says in the Quran:
“And when you have divorced women, and they
have reached [the end of] their waiting period, then either retain them as
recognized or release them as recognized. And do not retain them with wrongful
intent resulting in cruelty on your part. And whoever does this actually wrongs
his own self…”
(2:231)
The divorce
was momentarily the topic of our conversation. We must now move on to the main
issue. Why do cases of divorce, violence against men based on gender, and
violence against women based on gender occur? Before concentrating on reforms
that will help both men and women, we should take into account its causes as
opposed to just one-sided male reformation. There is no denying the fact that
men are largely ignorant of their commitments whereas women are typically
completely unconscious of their rights and empowerment.
The
movements for reform continue to gain some traction among men, but among women,
there are essentially no forums for talking about or reminding them about this
issue. Given the scenario, particularly the three incidences stated in Miss
Kaniz Fatma's article, we must promote awareness for both men and women,
which means we must try to reform both males and females in order to prevent
violent incidents.
----
A regular columnist with NewAgeIslam.com, Ghulam
Ghaus Siddiqi Dehlvi is a classical Islamic scholar [Aalim, Faazil and
Mutakhassis Fi al-Adab al-Arabi wa al-Ulum al-Shariah] with a Sufi background
and an English-Arabic-Urdu Translator.
Urdu
Article: Men Are Not
Always Cruel and Women Are Not Always Oppressed مرد ہمیشہ ظالم نہیں ہوتے اور عورت ہمیشہ مظلوم نہیں ہوتی
URL: https://newageislam.com/islamic-society/comment-men-cruel-women-oppressed/d/130347
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