A Friend Is One You Can Relate to and Empathise With

By Sumit Paul, New Age Islam

3 August 2024

Agar Tumhari Ana Hi Ka Hai Sawaal Toh Phir

Chalo Main Haath Badhata Hoon, Dosti Ke Liye

Ahmad Faraz

(If it's an issue of your ego / Let me take the initiative and befriend you)

Adavat-o-Talkhi Bahut Ho Chuki

Kabhi Dosti Ko Bhi Mauqa De Ke Dekh

Anon

(Enough of enmity and bitterness/ Give friendship a chance) 

 

(From File)

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The United Nations officially recognized 30th July as International Friendship Day, even though many countries, including US and India, celebrate on the first Sunday of August. So, this year it falls on August 4.

Our world faces many challenges, crises and forces of division — such as poverty, violence, and human rights abuses — among many others — that undermine peace, security, development and social harmony among the world's peoples.

To confront those crises and challenges, their root causes must be addressed by promoting and defending a shared spirit of human solidarity that takes many forms — the simplest of which is friendship.

Through friendship — by accumulating bonds of camaraderie and developing strong ties of trust — we can contribute to the fundamental shifts that are urgently needed to achieve lasting stability, weave a safety net that will protect us all, and generate passion for a better world where all are united for the greater good.

Though the modern fad of celebrating this Day and that Day sounds quite puerile, there's no doubting the fact that all these 'Special Days' make us aware of certain bonds in a world that has become destitute of all emotions, feelings and sensitivity. To quote Sahir Ludhianavi, "Na Dosti, Na Dilbari, Na Khuloos/ Kisi Ka Koi Nahin Sab Akele Hain" (Neither friendship, bonhomie nor attachment/ We're all alone). Friendship has a very broad horizon. It's all-encompassing like love. "Jazba-E-Dosti Agar Dil Mein Ho/ Har Ek Shakhs Dost Dikhta Hai" (If you've a sense of friendship in your heart/ Everyone will appear like a friend to you).

 

(From File)

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Nurturing a sense of friendship in the heart is much more important than making friends at random. A friend is one you can relate to and empathise with. There's no pontification or submission. French existentialist Albert Camus put it so succinctly, " Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.... Don't walk behind me; I may not lead.... Walk beside me and just be my friend. “When individuals, countries, races and civilizations are on an even keel, friendship blossoms and recrimination ebbs away. Talkh Bologe Toh Talkh Sunoge/ Kya Hi Acchha Ho Agar Talkhi Na Gholo (If you speak bitter, you'll receive bitter/ Better if you refrain from speaking harsh and bitter).

A friendly approach and a cordial attitude can change the hearts. The extreme venom on social media and all platforms is because there's a serious lack of 'cultured and refined friendliness' (William Somerset Maugham's phrase). We're either outright virulent or overfriendly with people. Once we strike a cultured and refined bond with the other person, it gets consolidated with the passage of time.

Munshi Premchand aptly said in one of his stories, "Dosti Dahi Ki Maanind Hai, Jamne Mein Waqt Lagta Hai" (Friendship is like curd. It takes time in its transition). On this Day, I urge all to remember Bashir Badr's famous couplet, "Dushmani Jam Kar Karo Lekin Ye Gunjaish Rahe/ Jab Kabhi Hum Dost Ho Jaaein Toh Sharminda Na Hon" (Be a staunch foe if you want, but remember/ When we become friends, we must never feel embarrassed).

Time for all, including yours truly, to ponder over the profundity of Bashir Saheb's immortal couplet. Happy Friendship Day to all my dear friends, detractors, critics, 'enemies' (I've none, because I don't see anyone as a foe) and esteemed readers.

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A regular columnist for New Age Islam, Sumit Paul is a researcher in comparative religions, with special reference to Islam. He has contributed articles to the world's premier publications in several languages including Persian.

 

 URL:     https://www.newageislam.com/spiritual-meditations/friend-relate-empathise/d/132854

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