By Observing Gratitude, We Can Save Ourselves From The Lures Of Happiness
By Muhammed Nafih Wafy
3rd
December 2020
What lends
meaning and purpose to our life? What makes it worth living? Is there any
serious mission that needs to be accomplished through our earthly existence?
We humans
do not share a single vision of life nor do we live an identical version of it.
We weave our existence around a dizzying array of goals, dreams, aspirations,
and ideals, and in pursuit of them, we engage ourselves in a wide assortment of
tasks and responsibilities. They all occupy a major portion of our lifetime and
become the building blocks of our life.
In modern
times, our life often revolves around an established pattern of goals such as
getting the right education, building a stable career, getting married and
settling, rearing children, maintaining a healthy life, accumulating wealth and
possessions, wielding power, enjoying positions and social status etc. Whether
we pursue them with a passion or out of dire necessity, those goals gradually
become something of a ritual, making us spend a great deal of our energy,
skills, and other potentialities to achieve them. They gradually become the
purpose of our life and the sole reason why we get up every day in the morning.
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Also Read:
The Blessings Of
Gratitude: One Who Does Not Thank People Does Not Thank God
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They also
rescue us from falling into an existential vacuum as they help us create an
impression that we have a well-defined, socially acceptable purpose in life.
They provide us with readymade answers to questions as to who we are, what we
do, why we exist, where we live etc. Since our ambitions and dreams lend a
sense of purpose to our life, we do not have any qualms in dedicating a major
chunk of our waking hours to fulfill them. When we cross each of those
milestones with months of planning, dedication, and hard work, we feel relieved
as if a heavy burden has been lifted off us. We feel rest assured that we live
our life to its full potential.
But is our
life all about fulfilling such short-range goals and aspirations? Despite
achieving our grand objectives and fulfilling our lofty ambitions, we often
find ourselves cast adrift without a comprehensive vision of life. We are
disturbed by a nagging sense of emptiness in the intervals of those bouts of
happiness and pleasure, as if there is a missing link connecting and
integrating the different goals we set, pursue, and achieve separately.
In
addition, there are a lot of people who feel left behind in this crass,
soulless bandwagon for the best education, the most rewarding career, the
perfect partner, the most opulent house, the best social status etc. Can we
brush them aside as losers and worthless lot?
Also, there
are those who come through some of these goals with flying colours, but
miserably fail in several others. They are happy and satisfied when they win but
fall to the fathomless pit of sorrow and depression when they lose something
they crave for.
The Common Thread Of Life
It seems we
desperately require a common theme and thread encompassing everything we do and
integrating our existence with a grand vision and objective, so that we don’t
exult over the tiny things we achieve nor we regret over what we lose in the
short term. Viewing our existence in the grand scheme of things will help us to
generate lasting meaning, sustainable value, and eternal purpose for our
life.
A life
devoid of such an overarching sense of purpose and holistic meaning is like a
rudderless ship. Without a vision to guide, our life’s boat can navigate the
shallow waters of life, but risks being capsized once it wanders off to the
whirling vortex.
While a
long-term purpose provides us with clarity, direction, continuity, and
integrity to our lives, purposelessness will create an emptiness within us.
When this void deepens, we try to fill it with trivial things such as pleasure,
financial rewards, status, fame, power, and possessions, which only ends up
further deepening the chasm.
The
pleasure we derive from the various short-term gains is momentary. It departs
us after a while, leaving us on the lookout for the next supply of motivation.
Depending on these short doses of motivation followed by long intervals of
despair, this will add to our frustration and disillusionment – and this cycle
of disappointment cannot be broken with anything other than a clear, enduring
sense of purpose that does not exhaust with our earthly existence.
We require
something which can make each and every moment of our life meaningful. We need
to convert this life into something more valuable and sustainable. No
short-term objective which expires before our life expires can motivate us to
live. Why should we live for achieving something that cannot last even our
lifetime?
If we have
a long-term purpose to drive our life, and if we can align all our short terms
goals and strategies with it, no short-term achievement can make us exalted and
no short-term debacle can demotivate us, and no amount of rejection can waver
us and none of the delusional triumphs of life can hold us a prisoner. If we
find all our objectives, including our pursuit of money and pleasure, a means
to a grander, nobler, and much superior goal, our life’s smooth flow won’t be
disturbed by the small hiccups of our pleasure and sorrow.
Inculcating
in us a long-term vision of life are the belief in God and His absolute
authority over the cosmic scheme of things, gratitude to His blessings,
patience in the face of His trials and tribulations, willingness to dedicate
and sacrifice short-term gains for lasting goals, trust in His choices for us,
endless hope in His blessings, and unwavering fear of His wrath and punishment.
A believer adds to the resilience and solidity of his or her faith when an
overarching purpose – the pursuit of God’s approval – becomes the abiding
passion of his or her life.
By
observing gratitude, we can save ourselves from the lures of happiness, and by
exercising patience we can overcome the trials of grief. Both happiness and
grief are delusions that can distract us from pursuing the true purpose of
life.
In the
absence of a solid, long-term purpose which faith imparts to us, we tend to
confuse many things with purpose, devoting our time and energy for them, only
to realize that the void still exists there. We may continue to apply such fake
medicines and placebos which only leaves us further depressed and disillusioned.
However,
influenced by a fast-paced culture that glorifies instant gratifications and
vilifies all sorts of failures, we make too much of our short-term goals that
our passion and energy are severely depleted when we fall short of achieving
them. Therefore, we are not able to treat the challenges and hardships of life
as the building blocks of our life. We are not able to go through them with the
same passion with which we experience the most enjoyable moments of life.
Failures Are Integral To The Rhythm Of Our Life
The
impression that with our grand strategies, never-ending ambitions, and
relentless determination we are programmed and wired to succeed has made us
intolerant to accept the worth and grace in failures. We often forget the fact
that many of our so-called failures are not failures at all. They are not even
steppingstones to success, as self-help gurus made us believe. They are just
instances which we have to simply go through, but they are pregnant with some
deeper meanings and eternal values, irrespective of how humiliating they are
and how little limelight they can hog for us. Failures and hardships are as
integral to the success and rhythm of our life as celebrated feats of our
life.
We glorify
impressive feats of our super achievers from different walks of life while
ignoring and belittling the achievements of those who prefer to work silently
and diligently. Even our children are fed with the stories of people who
‘succeeded’ in life and made their mark. But we need to motivate them with the
stories of people who failed in life despite all their efforts, but still
remained heroes of life as they inculcated an eternal value in the midst of all
debacles they faced.
We reserve
success to people who hog the limelight by doing remarkable things and of
theatrical significance. At a time when everyone wants to generate something of
a promotional value, there emerges a crisis of meaning. We do not focus on what
makes meaning for us if it fails to grab eyeballs and hog limelight. On the
contrary, we do things which can attract people’s attention, even if it does
not add any value to our life.
Be Expert Navigators Of Life
The real
achievers are those who cherish life as a blessing, treasure it as an
invaluable gift, and try their best to make it a fruitful and rewarding
experience. They do not allow any of their sufferings and hardships to damage
the beauty of their life. They navigate life’s boat smoothly, no matter how
stormy the weather is and how rough the water is. They emerge as expert navigators
and their life resilient and robust.
The real
losers are those who fail to notice meaning and purpose in sufferings and
sacrifices. They cannot see any meaning in the depth of life, as they never
attempt to scratch the veneer of the troubles facing them to see the worth and
beauty concealed underneath. They indulge in an endless blame-game, hiding in
the shell of victimhood, complaining about others, finding excuses for their
laziness and weakness.
No doubt
that life treats people differently. But eventually what makes the difference
is how you treat it. Your life is what you make of it, no matter how fixed and
static it may look from a distance. Circumstances differ, but what ultimately
counts is how we respond to them and how we try to overcome the
challenges. Life is not what is offered
to us on a platter or spoon-fed to us, but it is what we gather through our
achievements as well as sufferings and failures.
Original Headline: Seek Life’s Meaning Beyond
the Delusions of Happiness and Grief
Source: The Muslim Vibe
URl:
New Age Islam, Islam Online, Islamic Website, African Muslim News, Arab World News, South Asia News, Indian Muslim News, World Muslim News, Women in Islam, Islamic Feminism, Arab Women, Women In Arab, Islamophobia in America, Muslim Women in West, Islam Women and Feminism