Islamic Family Values: How Does Islam Help to Prevent Family Disputes?
By
Kaniz Fatma, New Age Islam
5 March
2022
Prevention
of Family Disputes from an Islamic Standpoint
Main
Points:
1. Those who do
not destroy familial ties are praised in the Quran as “those of understanding,”
according to the Quran.
2. Muslim
families have lost their power of resisting the devil's influence and easily
break the family ties.
3. Family
dispute is strongly frowned upon in Islam.
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Imagine the
ideal family: every family member is God-conscious, parents fulfil their
children's rights and vice versa, siblings live in peace, a marital life free
of squabbles and plenty of good times, and sweetly obedient offspring. Is there
such a family on this planet? Can anyone give an example of a family that possesses
all of these traits, has built strong love and attachment connections and has
never had a family conflict?
According
to reports, families are experiencing more conflict and tension than ever
before, with parents, siblings, cousins, spouses, children, in-laws, and so on.
Some of the fighting is insignificant, but others have left scars and wreaked
havoc on the lives of many people. The Muslims have not lagged behind in the
race of family disputes. Their condition has deteriorated to an all-time high, owing
to their disregard of Islamic values.
When fear
of God Almighty fades, disobedience to Islamic values becomes the usual. And
when this happens, the person forgets to maintain God Almighty's rights, which
are inscribed in Islamic teachings. He or she begins to exploit the law in
order to escape his or her criminal behaviour. But he or she forgets that
avoiding punishment in the Court of the World is easy, but not in the Court of
God Almighty.
It is
commonly assumed that men are to blame for family disputes. True, but in many
cases, women are also to blame for family disputes. Hence, my message on the
prevention of family disputes is intended for everyone, male or female, from an
Islamic standpoint.
Severing
familial ties is, without a doubt, a dreadful sin. Numerous passages in the
Quran and Sunnah (prophetic teachings) promote the preservation of familial
relationships and emphasise the religious significance of the issue. One of the
main goals of Islam is to unite people and establish brotherhood and similar
relationships.
Allah
Azzawajal says:
“Those
who unite what Allah has commanded to be united, and fear their Lord, and
apprehend the evil of the account” (13:21)
What are
the things Allah has commanded to be united? Of course, this is about the
relationship between family members and the kinship bond. Those who are kind to
their relatives and do not break the ties of kinship are referred to as
"the people of understanding" in an earlier verse of the Quran
(13:20)
The
following is one of the reports from the Prophet's (peace be upon him) Sunnah
that warns against cutting familial ties:
It was
narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Allah created the
creations, and when He finished from His creations, Ar-Rahm i.e., womb said,
“(O Allah) at this place I seek refuge with You from all those who sever me
(i.e. sever the ties of Kith and kin). Allah said, ‘Yes, won't you be pleased
that I will keep good relations with the one who will keep good relations with
you, and I will sever the relation with the one who will sever the relations
with you.’ It said, ‘Yes, O my Lord.’ Allah said, ‘Then that is for you ‘”.
Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) added. “Read (in the Qur'an) if you wish,
the Statement of Allah: ‘Would you then, if you were given the authority, do
mischief in the land and sever your ties of kinship?’ (47.22) (Sahih Bukhari
5987)
What causes
family bonds to be severed between families? It is usually determined that it
is related to arguments over materialistic matters in the majority of
situations. The Devil incites enmity and animosity among people over little
matters that aren't worth discussing in the first place.
However,
Muslim families have lost their power of resisting the devil's influence. This
occurs despite the fact that Islam encourages Muslims to consolidate the bond
of kinship, ignore faults and embrace a forgiving and tolerant attitude, rather
than seek out mistakes and cultivate hatred, grudges, and envy.
Abu Huraira
reported that a person said: Allah's Messenger, I have relatives with whom I
try, to have a close relationship, but they sever (this relation). I treat them
well, but they treat me ill. I am sweet to them but they are harsh towards me.
Upon this, he (the Holy Prophet) said: If it is so as you say, then you in fact
throw hot ashes (upon their faces) and there would always remain with you on
behalf of Allah (an Angel to support you) who would keep you dominant over them
so long as you adhere to this (path of righteousness). (Narrated by Muslim,
2558)
An-Nawawi
said in his commentary on Sharh Muslim (16/115): It will be like giving them
scorching ashes, according to this hadith. This is a metaphor for the suffering
they will experience, similar to the pain experienced by someone who eats hot
ashes. There will be no sin on this good deed-doer; rather, they will be doing
a major sin by cutting him off and harming him. And it was stated that by
treating them well, you will make them feel ashamed of themselves because of
how lovingly you treat them in comparison to how terribly they treat you. And
Allah is the most knowledgeable.
The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
“The
upholder of kinship links is not the one who is kind to them if they are kind
to him; rather, the upholder of kinship ties is the one who upholds the kinship
ties with them if his relatives cut him off.” (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 5991)
This is the
behaviour and attitude that Islam encourages. The family dispute is strongly
frowned upon in Islam. You are not permitted to join one of the family members
in breaking links with other relatives; instead, you must keep ties with all of
them and treat them with love, as well as make every effort to reconcile the
two members.
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Kaniz
Fatma is a classic Islamic scholar and a regular columnist for New Age Islam.
URL: https://www.newageislam.com/islamic-society/islamic-family-values-/d/126514
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