An Ideal Husband from an Islamic Perspective
By Kaniz Fatma, New
Age Islam
5 June 2024
Islamic Perspective on Husbandhood
Main Points:
1.
The Prophet Muhammad
(peace be upon him) emphasized the importance of treating his family well and
showing good manners.
2.
The Prophet's life is
a guiding beacon for men, demonstrating kindness, love, affection,
cheerfulness, forgiveness, and respect for family.
3.
The worst individual
is the one who causes trouble in his family.
4.
Husband and wife are a
source of comfort for each other, as stated in the Holy Quran.
5.
An ideal husband
should be caring, loving, morally good, forgiving, and compassionate, as these
are the teachings of the Prophetic teachings.
------
What does
it mean to be a husband from an Islamic perspective? Is it merely his job to
provide his family with food, housing, and clothing, or does he have additional
responsibilities? In this article, we'll look at what an ideal husband should
be from an Islamic perspective.
The Prophet
Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “The best among you is the one who is the
best to his family, and I am the best from you to my family.” This hadith was
narrated by Hazrat Ayesha (may Allah be pleased with her) (Jami Tirmidhi 3921)
Hazrat Ibn
Abbas reported: The Prophet (peace be upon him) said,
“The best
of you are those who are best to women.” (Al-Mustadrak alaa al-Sahihayn 7407)
Ahl means
"family" in Arabic, which encompasses blood relations, spouses,
children, friends, loved ones, and peer groups. According to the hadiths cited
above, the best person is the one who treats his family with kindness and
respect.
Although
Islam instructs Muslims to treat all members of society with goodness and
grace, this hadith concentrates on the family since being a decent family
member, especially with one's wife, is difficult and deserves praise. Allah
Almighty states in the Holy Quran:
“And deal with them (women) kindly.” (4:19)
Hazrat
Abdullah Bin Abbas clarified that this verse is about those who despise their
wives and misbehave with them. Throughout the verse, Allah Almighty commands
men to treat women well. This verse serves as a reminder to people who abuse
their spouse. This verse is not intended to condemn crimes against women solely
during the Jahiliyyah period, but rather to teach how to interact with women of
all ages. Today, our society also needs to reform in this regard. Harassing
spouses, forcing them to waive the Mehr, not paying their rights, causing
mental pain, sometimes having the lady sit in her parents' house and sometimes
keeping her in her own house and preventing the conversation, scolding in front
of others, and so on have become quite widespread. The poor wife follows her
husband, who moves on like a pharaoh. Several sorts of cruelty take place in
homes. May Allah Almighty make people aware of this verse of the Qur'an and
prohibit them from participating in wrongdoing. Furthermore, in view of the
Quranic tet, those who claim that Islam imposes severe limits on women must
acknowledge that Islam either causes hardship to women or defends them from
suffering.
The Quran
explicitly instructs men to treat their women with kindness, to make their acts
and appearance appealing to them to the best of their ability, and to treat
them in the same way that they wish to be treated.
According
to Hadith studies, some prophetic instructions for treating women are as
follows:
1. When you eat, feed your
wife, and when you dress, clothe her as well. Do not strike her in the face, do
not speak ill of her, and if you must [temporarily] split from her, do so in
the house. [Sunan Abi Dawud: 2142)
2. The worst individual is
the one who causes difficulty in his family. "How does he trouble
[them]?" was the question. He (peace be upon him) responded, "When he
enters the house, the wife becomes terrified, the children flee, and the
houseworkers become apprehensive. When he leaves the house, the wife rejoices,
and the other family members breathe a sigh of relief.”[Al-Mujam al-Awsaṭ: 8798]
3. The most ideal believer
is the one who has the best morals and is the gentlest with his family. [Jami
Tirmidhi: 2621]
The blessed
life of the Final Prophet (peace be upon him) serves as a guiding beacon for us
in this regard. He (peace be upon him) would welcome people to Islam, meet with
delegations, attend funerals, visit the ill, and assist the needy. Despite his
various obligations and responsibilities, the beloved Prophet (peace be upon
him) was gentle and sympathetic with his blessed wife, exchanging smiles,
listening to their problems, and caring for them. After Asr Salah, he would pay
them a visit to inquire about their health.
The Prophet
(peace be upon him) would not disturb his family at night after returning from
a journey, preferring to see them in the morning or evening. [Sahih Muslim:
4962]
All of this
indicates that men should be kind to their wives, speak well of them, show them
love and affection, be jovial and casual with them, forgive their
transgressions, abstain from conflict, uphold their honour, and make every
effort to prevent arguments, show generosity towards them, and show respect for
their families.
Islam
instructs women to treat their husbands like role models, just as it encourage
men to be ideal husbands. To demonstrate good character to her spouse, a woman
should really care for him, avoid arguments with him, respect his wishes that
align with Islam, and speak to him with deference. She ought to protect his
dignity and possessions while he is away. She should be full of patience and
forbearance, and she ought to be appreciative of his kindness. Her moral qualities
ought to inspire reverence for her husband's relatives and loved ones, and she
ought to politely inquire about them. She should be happy to see him and
support his legitimate work.
It is also
important to note that women are allowed to work in contemporary society since
a stable family needs two or more sources of income to live comfortably. They
contribute significantly to the advancement of society and offer a range of
services. Nonetheless, a woman is not compelled to work if she so chooses because,
according to Islam, it is not her duty. Because of this freedom, women are able
to contribute to the advancement of society.
The Holy
Prophet (peace be upon him) had a deep affection for his wife. Regretfully, our
peculiar idea of masculinity dictates that a man who loves his wife and
dedicates his life to her needs to be mocked by friends and family for being a
womaniser. Thus, this is incorrect from an Islamic perspective. Wife and
husband offer solace to one another. That's what the Holy Quran says:
“And of His signs is that He created
for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He
placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people
who give thought.”
(30:21)
It is
important for husbands to forgive their spouses as much as they can because
mistakes are inevitable. Men should call out their wives' mistakes and
encourage them to make the required corrections when their spouses make
mistakes. By demonstrating forgiveness and genuine effort to find a loving
solution, things can be made easier.
Above all,
a woman desires a man's attention. No matter how busy he is, he must find time
to devote himself entirely to his wife. A woman can surely get by on less money
when her spouse provides for her full-time. If he overlooks his spouse in
favour of earning more money, family life may suffer.
In summary,
an ideal husband should be kind, loving, morally upright, forgiving, and
compassionate. These are the lessons of prophecy as well. These habits, if
embraced by our cultures, will be the cure to the all too common family
dissolution that occurs in our communities.
------
Kaniz Fatma is a classic Islamic scholar and a
regular columnist for New Age Islam.
URL: https://www.newageislam.com/islamic-ideology/ideal-husband-islamic-perspective/d/132447
New Age Islam, Islam Online, Islamic Website, African Muslim News, Arab World News, South Asia News, Indian Muslim News, World Muslim News, Women in Islam, Islamic Feminism, Arab Women, Women In Arab, Islamophobia in America, Muslim Women in West, Islam Women and Feminism