Making Children Good Human Beings

 

By Sumit Paul, New Age Islam

24 November 2025

Here's a short but pithy story written by Kahlil Gibran,

"A man was reading a philosophy book in a mental asylum. He was looking healthy and didn't appear to be a mental patient. I sat beside him and asked why he was there? The man looked at me with astonishment and when he was assured that I wasn't a doctor, he started narrating : 'My father was a famous lawyer. He wanted me to become a lawyer. My mother wanted to see in me the image of her father. Uncle wanted me to become a successful businessman like him. Sister wanted me to follow in her husband's footsteps. Brother wanted me to become an athlete like him. In school, tuition and music classes, they wanted me to become like them. No one bothered to look at me as a human being. They all looked at me like a mirror. Frustrated, I decided to come here. I realised that this was the place where I could live with my ' true self.' "

Khalil Gibran's abovementioned short story is an apt commentary on the traditional way of bringing up children. We all want our offspring to become doctors, engineers, I A S, P C S etc. etc. We just don't want to know what the children want to do. This often happens that what we can't achieve in life, we want our children to achieve and accomplish that. We treat our children as the extensions of our dreams. Here lies the problem. When our expectations are not fulfilled, we blame our children.

Can't we teach our children to become good human beings? Should success be determined by a few greenbacks, high designation, a big bungalow and a sparkling car? In a society, where all these materialistic considerations become the priorities and humanity gets side-lined, corruption, immorality and wrong doings will invariably creep in. So why to crib and for whom? Aren't we unknowingly bringing up our children in a manner that they ultimately grow up devoid of all moral values? Snowed under the avalanche of our overambitious expectations, aren't children losing their mental equilibrium? Shelving the set patterns of parenting, we need to ponder in a different frame and before making our children ' big and successful individuals,' we should strive to make them human beings, who can think independently and act responsibly in life.

Becoming a good individual is the first and foremost priority. Success will automatically follow. To quote Mirza Ghalib, 'Bas Ke Dushwar Hai Har Kaam Ka Aasaan Hona / Aadmi Ko Bhi Mayassar Nahin Insaan Hona' (Pity, every step is such an uphill task / It's difficult for a man to become a (good) human being). Always remember, children can't be made good by making them happy, but they can be made happy by making them good. Once again, quoting Khalil Gibran, "

“Your children are not your children.

They are sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you.

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness.

For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He also loves the bow that is stable.”

Parenting is an art not many parents are good at. Buying their kids the costliest and latest iPhone models and other luxury items is not parenting. Nor is the constant goading to make them doctors and IAS officers ideal parental guidance. There must be a balance between too much pampering and relentless persuasion while treating today's kids.

Remember, today's kids are too sensitive and if they're not treated by their parents in a proper manner, they may even harm themselves. It's their way to make their presence felt. The cases of youngsters committing suicide is on the rise.

So, parents must be very caring as well as careful while treating their kids. In these times of widespread ideological temptations and hardcore beliefs in all spheres whether social, political or religious, the responsibilities of parents increase manifold.

-----

A regular columnist for New Age Islam, Sumit Paul is a researcher in comparative religions, with special reference to Islam. He has contributed articles to the world's premier publications in several languages including Persian

 

URL:   https://www.newageislam.com/spiritual-meditations/children-human-beings/d/137746

 

New Age Islam, Islam Online, Islamic Website, African Muslim News, Arab World News, South Asia News, Indian Muslim News, World Muslim News, Women in Islam, Islamic Feminism, Arab Women, Women In Arab, Islamophobia in America, Muslim Women in West, Islam Women and Feminism