Craving, Cribbing and Grieving

By Sumit Paul, New Age Islam

5 January 2026

"It is easy to despise what you cannot have."

The quote by Aesop's Fables, "It is easy to despise what you cannot have," speaks to the human tendency to devalue or belittle something that is out of reach. When we desire something but are unable to attain it, whether due to external circumstances or our own limitations, it is all too common to develop a sense of bitterness or disdain towards it. This inclination stems from the deep-rooted human desire to possess and control what we desire. However, Aesop reminds us that this attitude is unproductive and even detrimental, as it prevents us from appreciating what we already have and can lead to a perpetual cycle of dissatisfaction. Instead, we should learn to treasure what we possess, focusing on gratitude and contentment, recognizing that oftentimes, what we truly need is already within our reach.

Jo mila nahin uss ki chaah mein zindagi ganwaa dee

Jo mere hi andar tha uss par kabhi nazar nahin padee

Taabeer 'Daagh'

(What I never got I wasted my life for / What was inside me, I never cared for). All of us feel bitter when we fail to get thing/s we longed for. This sour grapes Syndrome is universal because human spirit is everywhere the same. Our longings and cravings are our undoings. There's no end to our desires. To quote Mirza Ghalib, Hazaron khwahishein aisi ke har khwahish pe dam nikle/ Bahut nikle mere armaan lekin phir bhi kam nikle.

This perpetual longing doesn't let us live with contentment and it also robs us of gratefulness. Gratitude is a magnanimous and benevolent attitude. It's a spontaneously unstructured prayer. But our longings kill it. Psychologists believe that the main reason for depression is our constant dissatisfaction. They say in Persian: Insaan hargiz raazi neest. Man sulks even if he gets the whole Universe! Kainaat bhi kam padti hai / Chahat jab insaan pe haavi hoti hai (Even the Universe is not enough when desire overwhelms us)

Man is perpetually unhappy because he always longs for things that are beyond his reach. We're not unhappy because we've not got something. We're unhappy because someone else has got that thing. Our flawed perceptions (of others' affluence) make us unhappy and disconsolate. Humans have this tendency that they're not just happy with the bread. They also want jam on it! The word 'long-ing' itself suggests that the list of our wants and desires is inordinately 'long.' It never ends. Cravings drive us crazy. Yet, we keep craving, cribbing and grieving.

A regular columnist for New Age Islam, Sumit Paul is a researcher in comparative religions, with special reference to Islam. He has contributed articles to the world's premier publications in several languages including Persian

URL: https://newageislam.com/spiritual-meditations/craving-cribbing-grieving/d/138308

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