By Maulana Wahiduddin Khan
Mar 15, 2013
On a visit to the USA I happened to meet an Asian immigrant, let’s call him SA. I found that he was a man with a difference. At all times he was in a happy mood. His colleagues also affirm that he is quite different from other people.
In the course of a conversation, I asked him how he was such a stress-free person, while others were living in stress. He smiled and said: “God Almighty made me and threw the mould away.”
It was then my good fortune to be invited by SA to stay with him for a few days. Accepting this offer allowed me to discover the secret of his different personality. My stay with him helped me discover the formula for his happy, stress-free life.
When I was with him at his home, one of his relatives came to him in an angry mood. He said, “Mr. So-and-So is trying to distort your image. He is engaged in negative propaganda against you.” The visitor continued in this way, but SA listened to him dispassionately. Finally the man said in annoyance, “I am telling you something as serious as this, and you are not responding.” SA said in an unruffled way: “Yeh unka problem hai, mera problem to nahin.” -- It is his problem, and not mine!
The next day we had planned a sight-seeing trip to a number of places, but for some reason at the eleventh hour, I said, “I’m not in a mood to go out. Let’s stay at home.” SA replied very calmly: “Chalo, yeh bhi theek hai” -- No problem, this is also okay.
During my stay with SA, I discovered these two formulas for his happiness. I think these are applicable to every man and woman. Everyone can adopt these formulas, achieve a stress-free life and live in happiness.
The first principle- “It is his problem, not mine” can be described as the art of problem management. In life there are always problems, and the best formula is to try to manage them rather than try to eliminate them. You have to learn the art of problem management, and then you can have a life where there is no stress or tension.
The second principle, “No problem, this is also okay”, can be described as: If you don’t get the first good, be content with the second good. It is a fact that in every situation there is always something that can be called the “second good”. All that is required is to accept the second good and forget the first good.
According to psychological studies, every problem begins in the mind, and it is also in the mind where problems can be solved. So it is like changing your intellectual gear. If you are able to do that, then you have found the super-formula for de-stressing.
You are more precious than everything else. So always try to save yourself. If in any situation, you have lost something, even then you have something, and that is yourself. So forget what is lost and take that which still exists for you. This is the best formula for attaining a happy life.
A happy life can often only be achieved in unhappy conditions. Life is the art of management. You cannot change the world, but you can manage yourself in order to find a happy place for yourself in the world. This is the only workable formula for happiness in this world.