Gratitude and Regret Must Be Expressed Wholeheartedly
By
Sumit Paul, New Age Islam
18 October
2022
“Chand Alfaaz Aap Ki Zindagi Ko Badal Dete
Hain, Jaise Chand Lafz Aap Ki Zindagi Ko Masal Bhi Dete Hain."
(A couple
of words change your life, just the way a few words can rub you the wrong way!)
Urdu
humorous writer Latif Ghonghi
Gratitude
and regret are two words that can transform your persona and both must be
expressed wholeheartedly. Until we express them generously, we cannot feel the
deep sense of joy that comes from within. It's simply indescribable.
Famous Urdu
writer, the late Intizar Hussain wrote that when he was very young, he had a
habit of never saying sorry to anyone despite his (childish) faults and follies.
One day, his Ustad (teacher) told him that if he never said sorry to
anyone, no one would ever say sorry to him. That magical advice instantaneously
clicked. Mian Intizar began to say sorry after mischievously tearing the pages
from his friends' copies and they too stopped complaining. This worked two
ways. His bad habit came under control and there were less complaints against
him with the teachers.
We seldom
understand the importance of seemingly simple things until we realise their
far-reaching influence in all walks of life. The saying that 'sorry and thanks
can take you far ' is a very apt one. Arabs believe that those who are stingy
in using the words Shukriya/Shukraan (Arabic for thanks) and 'Khata
Mua'af' (sorry in Arabic) are never generous by nature. 'Jo Na Kahe
Shukriya/Dil Uska Na Samandar Na Dariya' (Who doesn't say thanks, has a
heart which is neither a sea nor a river). This poetic Urdu aphorism drives
home the significance of the simple word 'thanks'.
In
uber-refined French, English and Persian cultures, people are judged by their
munificent as well as judicious use of thanks and sorry. People who don't say
thanks and sorry are called gauche (French for ugly, clumsy and awkward, now
generously used in English). These two words not only take a person far in
life, they also give depth to our personality and bring it to a T. Thanks and
sorry often show that we care for others. They evince our sense of gratitude and
a genuine feeling of regret. The caring and meticulous side of one's
personality is revealed by these two seemingly plain and banal words, uttered
in utmost earnest. They sound so simple but in their simplicity lies a horizon
of meaning, care, love, empathy, courtesy and all those traits that are
desirable in an individual.
Always
remember, life consists of small things but those very small things make life
much bigger. Ocean comprises innumerable drops, though a drop out of the ocean
may have no value. Chhoti-Chhoti Baton Se Hi Banta Hai Ye Jagat (The
world is made up of small things). Dhanyavaad Khaane Mein Namak Jaisa Hai/
Iske Bina Bhojan Feeka Hai (Thanks is like salt in meals/Food is tasteless
sans it). Remember this and use these two words profusely and prolifically.
You'll be liked by all and become a toast, nay cynosure, of all eyes.
Lastly,
women love courteous and chivalrous men who say thanks and sorry, but dislike
their overuse! Men also appreciate this quality in cultured women and long for
their congenial company. Such trivia may work in forging nice and healthy
relationships (with the opposite gender)!
-----
A
regular columnist for New Age Islam, Sumit Paul is a researcher in comparative
religions, with special reference to Islam. He has contributed articles to
world's premier publications in several languages including Persian.
URL: https://newageislam.com/spiritual-meditations/gratitude-regret/d/128204
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