Muslim Marriages Are Not Made in Heaven
By Arshad Alam, New Age Islam
23 August 2023
That’s What The New Season Of ‘Made In Heaven’ Is Telling
Us
Main Points:
1.
In one of its
episodes, the story focusses on the issue of Muslim polygyny.
2.
Critics have slammed
the episode for stereotyping Muslims and pandering to the Hindu right-wing
propaganda.
3.
Muslims need not
become squeamish when problematic issues like polygamy are highlighted in the
media.
4.
Such portrayals will
continue as long as polygamy is sanctioned.
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'Made in Heaven’ /
Photo: Amazon.in
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The recent serial on an OTT platform is the subject of much
discussion within Muslim circles and possibly elsewhere too. The second season
of “Made in Heaven”, in one of its episodes tells the story of a Muslim
mother, having to witness the second marriage of her husband. She appears to be
a willing participant initially, personally overseeing arrangements for the
wedding. Towards the end, her inner turmoil almost consumes her; she attempts
to end her life. Saved in the nick of time by a wedding planner, she decides to
fight for her rights, not as a Muslim woman but as an Indian citizen. She tells
her husband that she will go to the courts because just like any other woman,
she is also entitled to seek justice under the Indian Constitution. The episode
ends there but the debate of the chatterati hasn’t seized hence.
The first objection is that makers of the episode are
stereotyping Muslim women as being eternally oppressed. The argument is that
Muslim women are always shown as being victims and at the mercy of their men.
Let us look into this allegation more carefully. It is true that the Muslim
female character only discovers her agency much later in the episode. But what
is she supposed to do when her husband (and his family) is hell bent on taking
another wife? At one point, her mother-in-law, sensing her agony, tells her
that polygyny is allowed in Islam and there is nothing wrong in what her son is
doing. She also tells her that if she is too perturbed by it, then the only way
out is to request for divorce. The woman reasons that doing so would further
make her vulnerable as she would lose the custody of her children. We see,
therefore, that she had no real choice, even if she wanted to make one.
Those who cry Islamophobia at every problematic
representation of Muslim women need to understand the structural violence
within which many such women are situated. Marrying up to four women (at a
time) is sanctioned by Islam and if a Muslim man has the means and wants to
exercise this choice, then there is nothing that can stop him. One can
certainly argue that instances of polygamy are there in other religious
communities but this does not take away from the fact that this practice exists
in Muslim society too. And it cannot be denied that women do not really like to
be in such a situation.
The second objection has been that since there was only one
episode on Muslim marriage so the portrayal of polygyny could have been
entirely avoided as the majority of Muslims are, empirically speaking,
monogamous. The critics have argued that a singular focus on polygyny dovetails
neatly with the Hindu right-wing claim that all Muslim men have four wives. The
problem with this criticism is that it is picking out a single episode rather
than seeing it in the context of the whole serial. Made in Heaven Season 2
picked up myriad social issues such as class, caste, alternative sexuality,
religion, etc. And it cannot be denied that the issue of polygamy is a matter
of serious concern for Muslim women across the globe. Let us not forget that
one of the directors was Zoya Akhtar, herself a Muslim. So, in a way, she was
putting forward the predicament of Muslim women by telling the story of her own
community. What can possibly be wrong with that? Denying that such a problem
exists will not take Muslim critics very far.
The third objection and perhaps the most important one is
about the dialogue that the female character has with her husband—about
approaching the court and seeking the same rights that other Indian women have.
Critics have pointed out, and perhaps rightly so, that this is an allusion to
the ruling establishment’s propaganda that they are out to save Muslim women
from the tyranny of Muslim men. It is argued that this was the very tone in
which the Act banning triple Talaq was passed. Ending the episode on such a
note, some have argued, is nothing but an endorsement of the government’s
meddling with the religious affairs of Muslims.
While such analytical connections can be made, shouldn’t we
be asking the more fundamental question of whether the Muslim law is in need of
reform? Most of the criticism has come from a section of Muslim women
themselves, but alas they have all remained silent when it comes to taking a
position on reforming the Muslim personal law. The problem that Muslim women
face with regard to divorce, inheritance, custody, etc. is perhaps lost on such
commentators. If Muslim societies around the world have reformed their laws by
recognizing the substantive rights of women, why can’t Indian Muslims do the
same? We talk about stereotyping of Muslims but do not realize that such a
problem is also because of our reluctance to move ahead with the times. Muslim
women are vulnerable in marriages due to unequal rights and privileges; it is a
fact and not a mere opinion. And if such a vulnerability is represented in the
media, how is it then leading to stereotyping? This wouldn’t have become an
issue in the first place had Muslims resolved to make corrective changes in
their religious laws.
Why should there be any problem if a Muslim woman wants to
exercise her constitutional right over what she has been promised in her
religion? She need not be schooled into getting her ‘priorities’ right. Also,
the huge reluctance of the community to move ahead with the times is costing it
dear. If Indian Muslims continue to argue that their religious laws are divine
and cannot be changed for eternity, then there is nothing left to argue. Any
conversation can only move forward if Muslims become humble and start to
recognize that like all religious laws, Islamic jurisprudence is also man-made
and hence liable to change. As the female protagonist reminds her
mother-in-law: “Slavery is also permitted in Islam, but no one keeps slaves
now.”
Why can’t we develop a similar moral antipathy towards
polygyny?
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A regular
contributor to NewAgeIslam.com, Arshad Alam is a writer and researcher on Islam
and Muslims in South Asia.
URL: https://newageislam.com/islamic-society/muslim-marriages-heaven/d/130504
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