An Overview of Marriage, Dowry, and Divorce
Make
Marriage Easy, Life Prosperous, Avoid Dowry Demands And Dislike Divorce
Main
Points:
1. Islam has
provided the option of softness and ease.
2. The reason
for divorce may be that the wife is disobedient to her husband, the
mother-in-law does not like the daughter-in-law, or the woman could not fill
the house with the dowry. What to do in these three cases?
3. The wife's
disobedience to her husband, the mother-in-law's dislike for the
daughter-in-law, or the wife's inability to fill the house with dowry could all
be reasons for divorce. What should you do in these three cases?
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By
Kaniz Fatma, New Age Islam
26 May 2022
Marriage File Photo
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There are
some events that are difficult to forget. One of them is when the princess of a
father returns to her parents in distress, burdened by three divorces. Of
course, when a divorced woman chokes her motherhood, leaves her children at her
husband's house, and returns to her parents, tears pour. Undoubtedly, the soul
trembles, when a family home falls down and the relationship between husband
and wife is damaged.
Have we
ever pondered how much suffering the divorced girls may have endured while
living with their parents? When she sees her siblings’ children, she realises
how much she misses her own. How much she must have missed her husband’s home
and children, feeling the affluence of her siblings’ family life. Her heart
must have exploded from the strain. She must have experienced pain that we
can't even imagine.
But
consider this: why is that? What exactly is the rationale for this?
1. Was she
divorced because she disobeyed her husband?
2. Was she
divorced because her mother-in-law did not like her?
3. Was she
divorced because she had not been able to fill her husband’s house with dowry?
Islam does
not encourage anyone to divorce his wife simply because she has disobeyed him.
Instead, Islam has commanded the Muslims to make settlements and reconciliation
and make martial life prosperous. So disobedience of the wife to her husband is
not a valid reason for the divorce to be lawful. When there is no valid reason,
divorce is strongly discouraged or nearly outlawed in Islam since it is
harmful, and Muslims are forbidden by their religion to harm or injure one
another.
Dowry: File Photo ToI
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When there
is a valid reason for divorce, it is lawful in Islam. Even though, it is the
most repulsive of all lawful things in the Court of Allah. However, if there is
a hopeless failure on the side of either the husband or wife, or both, to
exercise their marital duties and to consort with each other in kindness,
peace, and compassion, the marriage may be terminated gently, with each party's
rights respected. But it's important to note that, even in this case, God
Almighty prefers the path of settlement because He Almighty despises divorce,
even when it's legal under the conditions.
So if the
divorce is the result of the disobedience of a wife to her husband, Islam has
provided a means to make life happy by reconciling. Islam has also provided
males with a lovely technique to settle the house by truly conversing with the
wife. So, why doesn't a man control his anger and emotions to make life simpler
for himself, his wife, and his children?
If the
divorce is the result of a disagreement and dislike between the mother-in-law
and the daughter-in-law, it's a misfortune. To get along, the mother-in-law and
daughter-in-law require mutual familiarity, affection, and love initially. If
the mother-in-law treats her daughter-in-law as if she were her own daughter,
considers her the prosperity of her home, the splendour of her home, and loves
her as if she were her own daughter, you will notice a significant change in
the daughter-in-law, even if she previously despised you and refused to give
her mother-in-law the status of the mother.
If
mother-in-law and daughter-in-law remember each other's rights as taught by
Islam, they will never be the cause of divorce between husband and wife.
Instead, their home will be the epicentre of joy.
Divorce/ File Photo
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By the way,
Islam has made things simple in every part of life; all we have to do now is
locate and embrace the correct aspects. God, the Lord of Glory, sends us away
from the home where we spent our youth, but we must remember that He rewards us
with in-laws. As a result, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law must adjust
their attitudes and make life more enjoyable.
If the
dowry is the reason for the divorce, it is a source of great shame and
disrespect to Islam. Due to the increased emphasis on collecting bribes in
marriage contracts, a simple relationship like marriage has become a very easy
source of money in the form of forced dowry, which is a tragic tragedy of the
current age of mental inferiority and narcissism.
Putting
financial pressure on a man's or a woman's family before or after marriage to
the point where, if the demands are not satisfied, the marital bond is forcibly
destroyed or hurdles are erected to prevent the marriage from taking place is
unethical from a humanitarian and Islamic standpoint. This is the most heinous
form of bribery. It is difficult to believe that it is not prohibited.
The
attitude in society has gotten so unspoken that fathers abandon their
princesses (daughters) by offering dowries and other gifts in response to the
demands of the males and their parents, but they still divorce and send their
daughters back home. Isn't it true that Islam teaches us about brotherhood?
Isn't it true that Islam prevents us from taking part in unlawful marriage
ceremonies? Isn't it illegal to inflict harm on the girl's family in the name
of dowry? Isn't it against the law for a human to carry a load that is more
than his or her capacity?
Allah says
in the Quran, “Allah intends ease for you, not hardship...” (2:185)
Have Muslim
women and men ever asked themselves, in light of the aforementioned verse, why
do Muslims today prefer to face difficulty despite the fact that Islam gives
them easy and soft means to deal with issues of life? If they haven't yet asked
the question, they should do so now and do everything they can to improve their
social and marital situations. If they wish to marry, they should first learn
the principles of forgiveness, reconciliation, gentleness, and goodness.
One of the
most important aims of marriage is to create an atmosphere of mutual love and
affection between men and women, so that life may be lived in peace, free of
deficiencies and bitterness. As the Holy Qur'an states, Muslims must remember
this and put it into practice:
“And among His signs is that He created spouses
for you from yourselves for you to gain rest from them, and kept love and mercy
between yourselves; indeed in this are signs for the people who ponder”. [30:21]
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Kaniz
Fatma is a classic Islamic scholar and a regular columnist for New Age Islam.
URL: https://newageislam.com/islamic-society/marriage-dowry-divorce/d/127093
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