By Sarah Matar
December 28, 2014
Sometime back I listened to an Arab woman singer singing: “Saudi, Saudi, I want to marry no other man but a Saudi.” The song is available on the Internet for anyone who is interested in listening to it.
I have not heard any Arab woman singer expressing a desire to marry a man from the other Gulf countries. The song made it clear that the Saudi man was much in demand for marriage in many Arab countries. However, it seems that he has little luck in his own country.
The young Saudi women, who are of the generation of Twitter, YouTube, Facebook and Instagram, do not prefer to marry men from their own country for a variety of reasons.
For these young women, the Saudi man is extremely selfish, does not express his intimate feelings, treats his wife badly and may marry another woman as soon as he is put on retirement.
The young women also believe that the Saudi man is a constant cheater, not keen on ensuring the happiness of his wife and does not shoulder his responsibilities as a husband and a family head.
The Saudi becomes a different man when he marries a foreign woman. All of a sudden he turns into a fabulous husband, very understanding, loves his children and takes great care of them, does not go out much and has a very limited number of friends.
The Saudi man who is always running after women suddenly turns into a wise man who is very faithful to his foreign wife.
During the 1980s, when a Saudi man married a foreigner during his study in her country, he would bring an ugly old woman. When we were young we used to be surprised and say that a young Saudi man married a foreign woman who was old enough to be his own mother. With societal development, the taste of the Saudi man has improved. He is now bringing a young and a beautiful foreign woman when he comes back home from his scholarship abroad. He is not making the same mistake as his predecessors.
I know a lot of Saudi men who married women from other countries and were very faithful to them. We would giggle and laugh because we were sure that he would not be that faithful if he had married a woman from his own country.
I remember that a man from my own tribe had married a foreign woman when he was studying in her country. Though his wife was sterile, he remained faithful to her. He stayed with her for about 35 years without ever thinking of marrying another woman to bear him children.
This man took another wife only after his first wife died. He was at least 60 when he got himself another wife. He had children but he died before seeing them grow up.
My countrymen have a weird complex. When they marry from outside, they become weak and lose their self-confidence. They try their level best to prove to their foreign women that they have made a good choice when they marry them.
They are also keen to prove to their foreign wives that their sacrifice of leaving their advanced countries and coming to live in a desert country with them has paid off.
I have also noticed another trait in some men from my tribe. When they marry a foreign woman, they become exasperated with their country. They often discuss with their foreign wives the bad habits of the young Saudi men. They will not shy away from telling them that the young Saudi men are backward and the young Saudi girls are spoiled.
They also tell them that they want to bring up their children to be independent like them.
The same men will shed tears of regret when their foreign wives escape with their children to their own countries.
I met a number of men who were married to foreign women. After 20 years or more they regretted the mistake they have committed by marrying from outside their country. They started yearning to marry Saudi women who would better understand their lives and requirements.
A Saudi man may want to stay at home in his underwear. His Saudi wife will not object but a foreign woman may ask him to put on a tracksuit or dress himself properly when staying at home.
He does not have to hide his real nature behind a mask just to please his wife. The Saudi woman will help the Saudi man live his normal life without any false pretences.