From Mecca to Kyoto: A Muslim’s Path to Healing on Sacred Ground
By
Anisa Abeytia
19 August
2024
I Hiked To The Top Of Mount Hira In Mecca,
Saudi Arabia, To Stand In The Cave Where The Prophet Mohammed (Saw) First
Received Revelation, And I Was Forever Changed By The Experience. I Was Hoping
It Would Happen Again.
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Climbing a
mountain for spiritual guidance might seem cliché, but for someone who felt
lost and broken, it felt like a lifeline — a chance to rise above the chaos.
I’m not sure how many Muslims set out to seek guidance from a Zen Buddhist
monk, but I did. This was not my first vertical trek to spiritual connection. I
hiked to the top of Mount Hira in Mecca, Saudi Arabia, to stand in the cave
where the prophet Mohammed (saw) first received revelation, and I was forever
changed by the experience. I was hoping it would happen again.
Zen Buddhist Monk Prays at DaihikakuSenkoji Temple.
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The
mystical occurs on mountain tops, so when the opportunity opened to climb the
198 steps to visit with a monk in Kyoto, Japan, I took it.
Mountains
and caves — nature itself — serve as the starting point for spiritual journeys,
from Moses to Mohammed and Siddhartha. Anyone spending time in natural
landscapes experiences a syncing with a universal heartbeat — a recalibration
of the mind, body, and soul that offers the reward of renewal and connection.
Modern life is not the sole proprietor of distraction driving humans into the
wilderness. Spiritual leaders flocked to nature to find answers, solace, and
rejuvenation since before humans tipped the population to one billion or the
advent of the steam engine. There is something about human nature that craves
solitude and quiet — even before the hallmarks of postmodern life. In nature we
look to balance chaotic lives and connect to something greater than ourselves.
In Islam,
daily prayers, the annual pilgrimage to Mecca or the holy month of Ramadan with
its prescribed fasting and spiritual cloistering, serve as a cyclical reminder
to stop and break from our mundane realities. It was with spirit that I boarded
a boat to transport me to the foot of the DaihikakuSenkoji Temple.
Traditional wooden boat sails in Kyoto, Japan.
Eat, Drink, Pray, Love — Bismillah & Arigato
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So how did
a practicing Muslim end up at the base of a mountain heading to a Zen Buddhist
temple? The simple answer — it was part of the tour, but it was something I was
seeking. Since I converted to Islam 26 years ago it has always been challenging
to find my place. I was now willing to try a new approach to connect to a
larger human community. I was looking for a retreat from spending too much time
alone in my head and online. I wanted to step away, if only for a few hours, to
escape my normal life and the distractions of it, to find answers, kinship, and
rejuvenation — to reclaim my human nature in community and in solitude. But
first let me rewind.
Seven
months ago, my job contract ended. I decided to see it as an opportunity to
dream and reinvent myself. I started by asking myself, “What do you enjoy doing
in my spare time?” I did not have an answer. All those years as a single mom
left me with no real hobbies. I discovered I was boring.
I combed
over Instagram to find interesting things to do, and every week I set out to
try something different. I went on the world’s shortest train ride, took a
class with a samurai, tried “real” sushi, visited London and caught COVID, and
went to a ton of mixer events. I must admit it was not as fun as it sounds. It
was an effort to get up and leave the house to try, again.
I focused
on my health, but I felt terrible. I cried a lot. I felt alone and like an
unemployed failure. I restarted my career 12 years ago after being primarily a
stay-at-home mother and I was jobless, again. Two years prior, I went back to
school and earned another master’s degree, but now it seemed useless, when all
I wanted was to get a job and help my children who were at university. I tried
to encourage myself, “You’ll get a job soon.” After almost a year it didn’t
happen. I was productive as I applied for jobs. I had side hustles, published a
book, started a new project in Africa, but I felt helpless.
How was I
going to get up again when I could not trust myself anymore? I could not see a
way forward. I needed guidance. I started meditating, ruminating and thinking
about the choices I made and everything that led me to this point. I needed to
take responsibility for choices I made, not to blame myself but to heal and
move on and no longer feel like a helpless victim. Then the opportunity to
travel to Japan appeared.
It seems that
those seven months were physical, mental and spiritual preparation. It was my
Eat, Drink, Pray, Love moment. My time to live The Lord of the Rings Bilbo
Baggins quote, “It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step
onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you
might be swept off to.” It was in this spirit that I left my home with an
adventurous spirit and an open heart.
SeichiJunrei
Landing in
Tokyo as a lifelong Weeb (anime and Japan fan) was an anime seichijunrei,
pilgrimage. We travelled from Tokyo to Hakone, then back to Tokyo to leave by
bullet train to Kanazawa. Then after nine days we were on our way to Kyoto.
A day later
we boarded a small boat pushed along by a long pole to our destination, DaihikakuSenkoji
Temple. The clear water, flanked by lush trees complemented the serenity of the
boat’s gliding. A few steps from the water’s edge were the meandering steps up
the mountain. At its base was a box of bamboo walking sticks. If I learned
anything from the hours of reading fantasy/adventure literature, is that a good
walking stick was essential adventure paraphernalia. I selected one and turned
to take in the gorgeous Princess Mononka-like river and lush forest view. As I
prepared for the climb, the weight of past disappointments felt heavier, but I
hoped that with each step, I would leave some of that burden behind.
Woman walks up old stone stair with a bamboo walking stick.
Then I took my first step up the mountain. Step one of 198.
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I wanted it
to be a walking meditation. I had been to Mecca and walked around the Kabba and
ran between Safa and Marwa. There is a reflective contemplation before, during
and after an experience like that, enabling you to fully benefit from it. I
decided to use that climb as my catharsis to mark my inner healing journey. To
make it count beyond the enjoyment of a new experience. To make it deeply
personal so I could let go.
I walked
slowly to allow the other travellers to pass. I wanted to be alone, which was
not too hard because I had not interacted with the others on the tour. Not
because I didn’t like them but because I thought they could hear the failure in
my voice and see my crushed spirit in my eyes. It was at step ten that I
discovered I had imposter syndrome so bad I did not even realize that I had it.
Unpleasant memories filled my mind as I climbed
up step 20, 45.
Step 67, was my high school counselor right?
Did I waste my time taking honors and AP classes when I could only expect to be
a maid? Was it true that I could not have a high IQ because only whites and
Asians have high IQs — not Mexicans?
Step 89, or was the substitute teacher who
said, “God doesn’t love you,” right? I had accumulated so many negative
messages in my head over the years that were so deeply internalized that I did
not even realize they were there. Failure is what echoed in my head and kept me
awake at night. They were right about me. I was embarrassed and ashamed of
myself.
Step 101 was healing from being brown, and a
hijab-clad woman in America, while also being rejected by Muslims for being a
convert.
Step 157, I let go of a lifetime of misogyny,
microaggressions, gaslighting and glass ceilings.
By step 172 I came to understand I felt judged
and invisible despite my very visible head scarf or perhaps because of it.
I stopped at step 183 to compose myself and
reflect on what I discovered about myself.
When I
reached the top, I was greeted with a welcome cup of cool water from the
temple’s spring and a red bean paste-filled cookie. As the monk refilled our
water, I looked around the open-air room and inhaled deeply. The old me would
have rejected this opportunity as a potential contamination to my deen (way of
life). Fear drove me. I would have seen it as a temptation, a lure away from
Islam. That’s what happens when you live in survival mode for too long —
everything is scary.
The monk
greeted us and looked over at me. He asked through our interpreter if I am a
Muslim. I said yes. He shared that there are many Muslims living in Kyoto. We
talked a bit about the similarities between Islam and Zen Buddhism as well as
Shinto, Japan’s indigenous religion. He said a prayer, taught us to meditate
and then answered our questions. Lastly, he left us with one message to carry
back with us — the key to a happy life is to surrender, Uketamo in
Japanese and Tawakkul in Arabic. Surrender frees us from unnecessary
suffering. He could not have delivered a more Islamic idea, and it was like one
of Kagome’s arrows shot straight at my heart, exercising the demons that
haunted me and prevented me from becoming the best version of myself. It was a
lesson I learned during Ummrah in Mecca but had forgotten.
Uketamo-
Tawakkul: Surrender
Mecca lacks
the lushness of a Japanese forest. The rugged beauty of the geologic features
of jutting rock, sand and an expansive sky hold its own sacred beauty. Circling
Kabba and running between Safa and Marwa taught me something I forgot in the
turmoil of the last 12 years — the importance of surrendering, and not in the
sense of giving up. Surrender means accepting what you cannot change to free
yourself from the trap of shame and anxiety. It was a Zen Buddhist monk who
reminded me of this lesson.
What
happens when you climb a mountain? I found myself in solitude. Nature gave me
the space to stop fighting with myself, surrender, and end my suffering. We all
face changes that feel like climbing a mountain or wandering in the wilderness,
but it’s in surrendering to the journey that we find true peace.
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Source: From Mecca to Kyoto: A Muslim’s Path
to Healing on Sacred Ground
URL:
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