Learning To Be Tolerant And Respectful
By Sumit Paul, New Age Islam
8 November 2025
"Until you have learned to be tolerant with those who do not always agree with you; until you have cultivated the habit of saying some kind word of those whom you do not admire; until you have formed the habit of looking for the good instead of the bad there is in others, you will be neither successful nor happy."
Margaret Mitchell's famous quote speaks to the need for tolerance and kindness in all of our lives. It reminds us to be open minded to the opinions of others, even if we don't agree, and to look for the good in others. Without tolerance and kindness, we can never truly be successful or happy. It's important to remember to treat all others with respect, even if we don't agree with them. Taking the time to be respectful and kind to those we don't necessarily agree with will help us build valuable relationships, creating a foundation for success and happiness.
Zaroori Nahin Ki Har Kisi Ki Baat Tujhe Sahi Lage/ Zaroori Ye Hai Ki Har Baat Ka Tu Adab Se Jawaab De (You needn't appreciate everyone's viewpoint/ But you must reply with utmost courtesy and etiquette).
Poet Dayashankar Naseem's couplet applies to all of us because most of us get annoyed when someone says something that doesn't appeal to us. One must refrain even from replying in a satirical manner because the line between a satire and sarcasm is too thin and flimsy. You never know when your satire slides into sarcasm and degenerates into an outright ad hominem attack. Moreover, a satire, in the hands of an inexperienced and greenhorn writer, is a dormant fire.
Life teaches us to be courteous even to the discourteous people. It's what I've learnt in this forum and also in my interactions with a large spectrum of all sorts of people. Pakistani Urdu poet Shaikh Ayaz rightly advised through his couplet: Sawaal-e-Talkh Ka Jawaab Talkh Ho Toh Sakta Hai / Na Bhool, Ki Ye Andaaz Tujhe Bhi Talkh Kar Jaata Hai (There could be a curt reply to a curt question / But don't forget, that it also embitters you).
This realization or awakening dawns on you only with age and maturity. You don't lose your temper even when the other person leaves no stone unturned to nettle or unsettle you. One must learn this quality from Dr Ghulam Mohiyuddin in this forum whose replies never contain vitriol even when someone tries to provoke him. Be generous like Shazad Ahmad, "Apne Naqqadaan Ke Liye Bhi Dil Mein Mere Jagah Hai/Unhin Ki Khaatir Aaj Mujhe Ye Maqaam Mila Hai" (I've respect even for my critics, because for them, I've reached this position).
Show tolerance and respect for all. These virtues never go in vain.
By the way, Margaret Mitchell is the same person who wrote the famous novel 'Gone With The Wind' (1936) and an eponymous movie (1939) was later made on it starring Clark Gable and Darjeeling-born Vivien Leigh. It was an Academy Award-winning film. She was born on November 8. I'm sure, almost all esteemed readers have watched this all-time great movie.
----
A regular columnist for New Age Islam, Sumit Paul is a researcher in comparative religions, with special reference to Islam. He has contributed articles to the world's premier publications in several languages including Persian
URL: https://www.newageislam.com/current-affairs/learning-tolerant-respectful/d/137563
New Age Islam, Islam Online, Islamic Website, African Muslim News, Arab World News, South Asia News, Indian Muslim News, World Muslim News, Women in Islam, Islamic Feminism, Arab Women, Women In Arab, Islamophobia in America, Muslim Women in West, Islam Women and Feminism