Value Of Modesty Should Be Followed By Both Boys And Girls
By Bisma Farooq Sheikh
November
28, 2020,
We live in
a world of progress and advancement but in this era too there are many people
who live in the darkness of ignorance; they still consider sons as assets and
girls as liabilities.
There is no
dearth of such people in 21st century. Whose faces turn pale and sad on the
birth of a girl child and to the great surprise many so called educated people
also are in this game. They enjoy and celebrate the birth of a male child but
put fake smile on the birth of a girl child. This is the moment from which the
shadow of patriarchy falls on the life of a female. In childhood, demands of
male child are fulfilled happily, but demands of girl child are seen as
irritating.
Level of
maturity is expected quiet early from female kids while males are given liberty
till late ages. A girl is asked to look after his male sibling; help him in
work & in fight it is usually a girl
child who is rebuked and asked to be silent. In some families though this
environment of patriarchy doesn’t exist but the girls from those families also
have to bear the brunt of societal patriarchy. Society sets the norms for them.
if a female laughs loudly she is rebuked. A female is always told to talk like
this, walk like this. As she advances the puberty, lectures on modesty start
coming from each corner. She is told “Respect your modesty; respect of family lies in your hands.
It is good
to teach modesty rather it is very important to do so but is modesty only for
females; why same lessons are not imparted to male adolescents/adults. Why they
are not taught to lower their gaze, why parents don’t tell them not to caste a
lustful glance on someone’s daughter. Why they are not taught moral values. Are
ethics only for females. Lets see what our Quran says; In surah An-Noor;
verse no. 30, it is clearly mentioned:
“Tell the believing men to lower their
gaze; and protect their private parts. That’s purer for them.
Verily
Allah is aware of what they do”. After that it is commanded to women to respect
their modesty in verse no. 31; “And say to the believing women that they lower
their gaze and guard their private parts and not reveal their adornments except
for what ordinarily appears thereof; and they draw their veils over their
bosoms,…..” These verses from our Holy Quran reveal the need to have a balanced
approach that modesty is valued and needed from both men and women. But we do
is opposite.
In Friday sermons, most of the imams
exaggeratedly highlight the issue of be haya among women, what about men! Are
they altogether pious, don’t they need hidayah. Rights of husbands are
highlighted, what about rights of wife. If a boy and a girl are seen walking
together on road, why only girl is blamed. Isn’t boy equally responsible. Why
only parents of girl are abused. Aren’t parents of a boy also responsible for
poor upbringing of their son.
In buses,
there are some male citizens who take undue advantage of overload. Likewise on
roads, there are some who pass indecent comments or start following female
teenagers but many bystanders don’t bother to come to rescue. They don’t pay
heed. Dear brothers, If you care for modesty of your sister and wife why you
don’t care about modesty of all other girls. Respect females, and females of
your family will be protected.
The aim of
this write up is to highlight the biased nature of our society and to speak
against the peril of patriarchy which has ruined our lives. Moral decay exist among
both genders and that is due to poor parental upbringing, who focus only on
academics and fail to impart moral values among their children. So let’s stop
the blame-game and buck passing. Parents and the society need to adopt an
approach wherein modesty is sought for both. It is not a feminine attribute
only. Above all parents need to stop discriminating against daughters.
Original Headline: Discriminatory application
of modesty
Source: The Greater Kashmir
URl: https://newageislam.com/spiritual-meditations/value-modesty-be-followed-boys/d/123636