Praise Shames Me, For I Secretly Beg For It!
By
Sumit Paul, New Age Islam
26 February
2024
One of the
most beautiful quotes that I've ever come across while diving into the ocean of
world literature in several languages, is Rabindranath Tagore's 'Praise shames
me, for I secretly beg for it.'
While
scholars of Persian mysticism find a semblance of similarity when Hafiz Shirazi
says, "I ask for criticism, but long for admiration," such uncanny
similarities cannot always be called plagiarism.
Great minds
often think alike. Coming back to Tagore's thought, juxtaposing it with Hafiz's
quote for a greater impact, one must say that almost all humans secretly or
blatantly ask for praise and feel snubbed even by a scintilla of criticism.
"Ae Nujoomi Mujh Ko Faqat Achchhi Baatein Hi Bata/ Talkh Pesheengoyion
Se Mujh Ko Na Dara" (Oh, clairvoyant, please tell me only the good
things/ Don't scare me with bitter predictions), Behzad Lakhnavi is spot-on
here.
Even when
we go to an astrologer to know our future, we subconsciously want to hear only
the good things that might happen in the days and years to come. Negative
predictions unnerve us. So, the whole shebang of fortune-telling is based on
sugar-quoted predictions and the entire caboodle of human relationships hinges
on (false) praise.
Those
who're conscientious like the aforementioned poets, might feel embarrassed to
receive praise but they too feel good when someone admires them. The point is,
should we never criticise and continue to praise even when it's not required?
Tagore provides the solution: "Remove my warts and scars without hurting
me."
Praise is
an elixir for every individual. It's an incentive to do better. While gentle
criticism can bring about qualitative changes in an individual's life, genuine,
not wholesome or unctuous, praise can bring about greater and more positive
results.
Psychologists
are of the view that we want praise because that's a psychological booster for
all of us. Nature has made us like that. English novelist J B Priestley aptly
said, "She wasn't exactly beautiful. But she could have been prettier had
someone kept telling her that she was beautiful." That's the essence of
life.
Praise
works as a lubricant in every individual's life. It's a catalyst for growth,
betterment and development. Henry Ford would always advise, "If you
criticise once, praise twice." Offset criticism with praise is the golden
rule that has transformed lives of innumerable individuals.
Mirza
Ghalib never had a mentor (Ustad) as an Urdu poet, though he had an
Iranian mentor, whose name is still unknown, who 'rectified' his Persian
poetry. While Ghalib was extremely confident of his Persian and even claimed
that he used to dream in Persian, somewhere he knew that his Persian was a
notch below the Central Asian Persian spoken and written by Hafiz, Attar, Rumi,
Jami, Khaqani, Anwari among others. So, he required a mentor for his Persian
poetry. That Iranian mentor praised Ghalib's Persian poetry but never forgot to
add that Ghalib's Urdu was better than his Persian! "You could be the
greatest in Urdu poetry but not-so-great in Persian poetry." In a calculated
as well as subtle manner, he impressed upon Ghalib that he had better focus on
his Urdu poetry rather than 'waste' time in writing convoluted Persian poetry,
a language which didn't come to his linguistic self effortlessly the way Urdu
came.
By the way,
the legendary British scholar of Urdu language and literature, Dr Ralph Russell
shared this anecdote with me when I was pursuing my Doctoral research under his
tutelage. This is the way, praise and (negative) feedback should be mixed to
drive home the point. To sum it up in the words of Henry Wordsworth Longfellow,
"Even when you continuously criticise, forget not to praise once or twice."
------
A regular columnist for New Age Islam, Sumit Paul
is a researcher in comparative religions, with special reference to Islam. He
has contributed articles to the world's premier publications in several
languages including Persian.
URL: https://newageislam.com/spiritual-meditations/praise-shames-beg/d/131797
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