When MEN Cry

By Sumit Paul, New Age Islam

27 September 2022

Rone Se Aur Ishq Mein Bebaak Ho Gaye

Dhoye Gaye Hum Aise Ke Bas Paak Ho Gaye

Mirza Asadullah Khan 'Ghalib'

(Tears in love made me all the more uninhibited/ It cleansed and purified me)

“Tears Aren't Male or Female

   Emotions Have No Gender

   Let It Be A Happy Or A Sad Tale

   We All Cry Whether Tough or Tender”

My translation of Rumi's one of the last quatrains written in Ottoman Turkish

A poignant picture of all-time greats Federer and Nadal with tears in their eyes, has moved the world. TOI carried the picture on the front page of its Sunday edition.

Men shedding tears isn't a very common sight. But when they cry (in public) they make themselves endearingly humane as crying is a humanising act that transcends gender stereotypes and perceived emotional rigidity.

We've a fixed belief that men don't cry. Rather, they shouldn't cry. “Aankhein Hain Toh Ashk Bhi Honge Hi/ Insaan Hain Toh Royenge Bhi “(When there're eyes, there must be tears/ When we all are humans, we must also shed tears). Men are as emotional and sensitive as women are. In fact, now behavioural science has begun to believe that men are more emotional and sensitive (than women).

Valmiki cried when two mating birds were arrowed (Kronch-Vadh) by a hunter and the resultant pathos, created by the anguished heart, made him a Mahakavi.

Crying is cathartic. Men must cry because when they hold their tears back, the pent up sorrow breaks them. Cry whenever emotions overwhelm you. Men often don't cry in public lest people should call them sissy. This is an erroneous belief. Cry for your own sake. Cry for your mental, physical and emotional well-being. Remember, men have shed more tears than all the water lying in the great oceans.

There's a Persian adage, ' One who doesn't cry is capable of committing the most heinous crimes.' Tears are catalysts of humane aspects that constitute our persona and make all of us humans. Rafi sang, ' Ye Aansoo Mere Dil Ki Zubaan Hain/ Main Rouun Toh Ro Dein Aansoo, Main Hans Doon Toh Hans Dein Ye Aansoo.' They (tears) cleanse the firmament of our turbid existence and the azure blue sky of our life paves the way for a bright and rejuvenating sunshine.  

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A regular columnist for New Age Islam, Sumit Paul is a researcher in comparative religions, with special reference to Islam. He has contributed articles to world's premier publications in several languages including Persian.

URL:    https://newageislam.com/spiritual-meditations/crying-federer-nadal-ghalib/d/128044

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