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Islamic Society ( 26 May 2022, NewAgeIslam.Com)

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An Overview of Marriage, Dowry, and Divorce

Make Marriage Easy, Life Prosperous, Avoid Dowry Demands And Dislike Divorce

Main Points:

1.    Islam has provided the option of softness and ease.

2.    The reason for divorce may be that the wife is disobedient to her husband, the mother-in-law does not like the daughter-in-law, or the woman could not fill the house with the dowry. What to do in these three cases?

3.    The wife's disobedience to her husband, the mother-in-law's dislike for the daughter-in-law, or the wife's inability to fill the house with dowry could all be reasons for divorce. What should you do in these three cases?


By Kaniz Fatma, New Age Islam

26 May 2022

Marriage File Photo


There are some events that are difficult to forget. One of them is when the princess of a father returns to her parents in distress, burdened by three divorces. Of course, when a divorced woman chokes her motherhood, leaves her children at her husband's house, and returns to her parents, tears pour. Undoubtedly, the soul trembles, when a family home falls down and the relationship between husband and wife is damaged.

Have we ever pondered how much suffering the divorced girls may have endured while living with their parents? When she sees her siblings’ children, she realises how much she misses her own. How much she must have missed her husband’s home and children, feeling the affluence of her siblings’ family life. Her heart must have exploded from the strain. She must have experienced pain that we can't even imagine.

But consider this: why is that? What exactly is the rationale for this?

1. Was she divorced because she disobeyed her husband?

2. Was she divorced because her mother-in-law did not like her?

3. Was she divorced because she had not been able to fill her husband’s house with dowry?

Islam does not encourage anyone to divorce his wife simply because she has disobeyed him. Instead, Islam has commanded the Muslims to make settlements and reconciliation and make martial life prosperous. So disobedience of the wife to her husband is not a valid reason for the divorce to be lawful. When there is no valid reason, divorce is strongly discouraged or nearly outlawed in Islam since it is harmful, and Muslims are forbidden by their religion to harm or injure one another.

Dowry: File Photo ToI


When there is a valid reason for divorce, it is lawful in Islam. Even though, it is the most repulsive of all lawful things in the Court of Allah. However, if there is a hopeless failure on the side of either the husband or wife, or both, to exercise their marital duties and to consort with each other in kindness, peace, and compassion, the marriage may be terminated gently, with each party's rights respected. But it's important to note that, even in this case, God Almighty prefers the path of settlement because He Almighty despises divorce, even when it's legal under the conditions.

So if the divorce is the result of the disobedience of a wife to her husband, Islam has provided a means to make life happy by reconciling. Islam has also provided males with a lovely technique to settle the house by truly conversing with the wife. So, why doesn't a man control his anger and emotions to make life simpler for himself, his wife, and his children?

If the divorce is the result of a disagreement and dislike between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, it's a misfortune. To get along, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law require mutual familiarity, affection, and love initially. If the mother-in-law treats her daughter-in-law as if she were her own daughter, considers her the prosperity of her home, the splendour of her home, and loves her as if she were her own daughter, you will notice a significant change in the daughter-in-law, even if she previously despised you and refused to give her mother-in-law the status of the mother.

If mother-in-law and daughter-in-law remember each other's rights as taught by Islam, they will never be the cause of divorce between husband and wife. Instead, their home will be the epicentre of joy.

Divorce/ File Photo


By the way, Islam has made things simple in every part of life; all we have to do now is locate and embrace the correct aspects. God, the Lord of Glory, sends us away from the home where we spent our youth, but we must remember that He rewards us with in-laws. As a result, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law must adjust their attitudes and make life more enjoyable.

If the dowry is the reason for the divorce, it is a source of great shame and disrespect to Islam. Due to the increased emphasis on collecting bribes in marriage contracts, a simple relationship like marriage has become a very easy source of money in the form of forced dowry, which is a tragic tragedy of the current age of mental inferiority and narcissism.

Putting financial pressure on a man's or a woman's family before or after marriage to the point where, if the demands are not satisfied, the marital bond is forcibly destroyed or hurdles are erected to prevent the marriage from taking place is unethical from a humanitarian and Islamic standpoint. This is the most heinous form of bribery. It is difficult to believe that it is not prohibited.

The attitude in society has gotten so unspoken that fathers abandon their princesses (daughters) by offering dowries and other gifts in response to the demands of the males and their parents, but they still divorce and send their daughters back home. Isn't it true that Islam teaches us about brotherhood? Isn't it true that Islam prevents us from taking part in unlawful marriage ceremonies? Isn't it illegal to inflict harm on the girl's family in the name of dowry? Isn't it against the law for a human to carry a load that is more than his or her capacity?

Allah says in the Quran, “Allah intends ease for you, not hardship...” (2:185)

Have Muslim women and men ever asked themselves, in light of the aforementioned verse, why do Muslims today prefer to face difficulty despite the fact that Islam gives them easy and soft means to deal with issues of life? If they haven't yet asked the question, they should do so now and do everything they can to improve their social and marital situations. If they wish to marry, they should first learn the principles of forgiveness, reconciliation, gentleness, and goodness.

One of the most important aims of marriage is to create an atmosphere of mutual love and affection between men and women, so that life may be lived in peace, free of deficiencies and bitterness. As the Holy Qur'an states, Muslims must remember this and put it into practice:

“And among His signs is that He created spouses for you from yourselves for you to gain rest from them, and kept love and mercy between yourselves; indeed in this are signs for the people who ponder”. [30:21]


Kaniz Fatma is a classic Islamic scholar and a regular columnist for New Age Islam.


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