Allah Raises Your Rank through Your New-born Child: Allah Refers To Motherhood in the Quran as Weakness upon Weakness
By
Umm Khadijah
13 February
2021
Women
experience numerous changes throughout their lives. One of the most significant
of these changes is motherhood. One minute you are living your regular life,
and the next you are responsible for the life of another human being. It is
truly not something one can fathom until they go through it themselves. My
mother always said to me, “you’ll understand when you’re a mother,” and she
could not have been more correct.
The
sleepless nights, the overwhelming fatigue and emotions, and the complete
disruption of what was previously a normal routine are just part and parcel of
the changes that come with motherhood. There is a reason Allah refers to this
period in the Qur’an as وَهْنًا عَلَى وَهْنٍ (weakness upon weakness). [1] Of course,
becoming a mother brings an unimaginable amount of joy, happiness, and love –
that’s a given. But this article is here to focus on the relationship between a
mother and Allah which, most of the time for our dearest sisters, takes a hit.
This is further weakened in cases where sisters may suffer postnatal depression,
something unfortunately still taboo in our society. I hope this article brings
hope to my sisters who have previously experienced, or are currently going
through, the same struggles as I once did.
Becoming a
mother transformed my life entirely. All of a sudden, I could not even imagine
doing the things I had been doing daily for many years. The period of Nifās (postnatal
bleeding) was particularly difficult for me and led to an overwhelming feeling
of emptiness. A woman’s monthly cycle usually lasts an average of 7 days, which
is already a long time to be away from Salah, let
alone another 40 days! This prolonged separation leaves you feeling lonely,
despite being accompanied by your baby 24/7!
After the Nifās
period, I was hoping to see a big jump in my Imân, however, it quickly
became clear that I was not going to be able to return to the activities I used
to do before as quickly as I’d wanted. I was losing hope, so I spoke to my
husband who was given some beautiful advice by our dearest Dr Shaykh Sajid Umar
(may Allah honour him). This advice changed my outlook completely.
Some
sisters find it easy to transition back into their normal routine and continue
with the acts of worship they used to do before. However, a lot of sisters may
find it difficult, just as I did, and be afraid to speak about it thinking that
their state of “low īmān” was a result of their sins. This was the
mindset I had until our Shaykh (may Allah preserve him) pointed out that it was
not my sins or some other reason that prevented me from doing the same deeds as
before. Rather, it was because I was overwhelmed with the responsibility of
looking after another servant of Allah. He reminded us of the impact of
perspective in this situation, highlighting its importance. Just as Allah always
did with the Prophet (Sall Allāhu ʿalayhi Wa Sallam) when he was sad, he discussed the
topic of perspective, drawing examples from Sūrah al-Ḍuḥā and Sūrah al-Sharḥ.
Allah says
in Sūrah al-Ḍuḥā:
“Your
Lord (O Prophet) has not abandoned you, nor has He become hateful (of you). And
the next life is certainly far better for you than this one. And (surely) your
Lord will give so much to you that you will be pleased. Did He not find you as
an orphan then sheltered you? Did He not find you unguided then guided you? And
did He not find you needy then satisfied your needs? [2]
And Allah
says in Sūrah al-Sharḥ:
“Have We
not uplifted your heart for you (O Prophet), relieved you of the burden, which
weighed so heavily on your back, and elevated your renown for you.”[3]
In these
verses, Allah presents reminders of perspective for the Prophet (Sall Allāhu
ʿalayhi Wa Sallam) by highlighting various favours of His. Perspective is key and the
following points are what helped me heal and persevere through this phase.
1) You now
have a new role – that of being a mother. This should strengthen your Imân because
Allah has honoured you. The mother is even more honoured than the father. So,
if Shaitan comes to you with evil thoughts that upset you, remember that
Allah has raised your rank through your child and He has honoured you.
2) Remember
that you will find Allah with those who are in need, such as the poor and the
hungry. In the same way, when a mother attends to their child, she should feel
that Allah is there. She should intend that her feeding the baby is Ibaadah and that her changing the baby is Ibaadah. This will take the place of other Nafl acts
of worship she may have done before. We can make this comparison by identifying
patterns in the way Allah rewards us. The Prophet (Sall Allāhu ʿalayhi Wa Sallam) said:
“The one
who looks after and works for a widow and for a poor person, is like a warrior
fighting for Allah’s Cause or like a person who fasts during the day and prays
all the night.”[4]
This Hadīth
refers to a widow, who still has the ability to walk, eat and clean herself, so
imagine the reward of looking after a baby. We may consider it is as if a
mother is fasting all day and praying all night, because we do not doubt the
mercy of Allah (Subḥānahu Wa Taʿālā). Rather, we have hope that, with
the right intention, we can gain this reward. Ask Allah to make your efforts a
means of obtaining the reward of fasting and standing in the way of Allah.
3) “Allah
helps His slave as long as he helps his brother.”[5]
The one who
is in the assistance of his brother, Allah is assisting him. A mother who is
assisting her child, is assisting another believer, and thus she will find
Allah assisting her. This child is an opportunity for you to develop a unique
relationship with Allah that you would not have had otherwise. Do not view the
child as an obstacle to your Ibaadah; instead, view him/her as a means to further
your ranks in the sight of Allah.
4) You now
have the opportunity to reach Jannah in ways you could not have done without
your child. Before, I was only able to worship Allah through certain acts, but
now, I can strive for Jannah in ways I could never have done had I not been
blessed with this child.
In terms of
acts of worship, certain ones are like rocks and should never be left,
regardless of the circumstances:
1) The five
daily Salah – on time. If you struggle with the Sunnah,
read what you can from the Sunnah and aim to build up from there.
2) The
morning and evening Adhkār
3) A
portion of Qur’an – if you used to read a juz before, but can now only manage a
quarter, we have hope in Allah that He would reward it as if you read a juz.
My own
advice would be to modify this as time goes on and keep adding to it as you get
more time back to yourself.
No one had
prepared me for the changes that were coming. Even if they warned me, I do not
think I would have realised how enormous the change would be until I
experienced it. Perhaps that also had an effect on how hard the change hit me. Alhamdulilah,
as time goes by, mothers are able to adjust and develop new routines. While
doing so, it is very important to set goals for yourself and for your child, so
you do not waste time and get lazy with your Ibaadah.
Pregnancy
and childbirth come with a whole host of emotional whirlwinds, but I personally
found this test the hardest. Once I changed my perspective, it gave me a lot of
hope, which is what I pray this article gives to my dearest sisters who are
experiencing or about to experience motherhood.
I pray
Allah makes it a means of raising your ranks and honouring you in this world
and the next, and I thank our Shaykh who brought this perspective to light.
Notes:
[1] Al Qur’an, 31:14
[2] Al-Qur’ān, 93:3-8
[3] Al-Qur’ān, 94:1-4
[4] Saḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, on the authority of Abū
Hurairah (hadith 6006).
[5] Saḥīḥ Muslim, on the authority of Abū
Hurairah.
-----
Umm
Khadijah is a full-time mother, based in the UK. Her interests include child
development and baking.
Original
Headline: How your newborn can bring you closer to Allah
Source: The islam21c.com
URL: https://newageislam.com/islam-spiritualism/allah-raises-rank-new-born/d/124293
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