How to Silence a Spencer
By Ibn e Guffaw, New Age Islam
23 October 2025
Robert Spencer’s Islamophobia deserves not debate but derision. When paranoia dresses itself as scholarship, the only moral response is laughter — the kind the Qur’an hints at when it says, “And when the ignorant address them, they say, ‘Peace.’” (25:63). For some falsehoods, silence is too kind; only wit can finish the cleansing.
Dear Mr. Ashrof,
You have done the noble thing — responding with civility and scholarship to Robert Spencer’s latest fit of Islamophobic indigestion. But with respect, my friend, this is like reciting the Constitution to a man who believes the moon landing was filmed in Medina. Spencer does not deserve a rebuttal. He deserves ridicule.
This is a man whose entire career rests upon confusing ordinary Muslims with invading armies. A school in Kerala cancels two days of classes, and he sees the Caliphate rising. A student wears a hijab, and he hears the gallop of Ottoman horses. If paranoia were an Olympic sport, he’d return with more medals than Michael Phelps — swimming, of course, in his own delusions.
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Related Article: Upholding Universal Human Dignity in Islamic Thought- A Response to Robert Spencer
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Spencer’s mind is an art gallery of hysteria: every fact stretched, every shadow weaponised. He cannot see a prayer mat without detecting a “global plot.” He spots jihad in geometry and apostasy in algebra. If a Muslim child recites multiplication tables, Spencer fears they’re multiplying civilizations.
And yet, we treat him as if he were an intellectual adversary. He is not. He is a performance artist whose props are panic and prejudice. He feeds on outrage; every indignant reply fattens his fame. Attention is the oxygen that sustains his inferno of absurdity.
We must learn to starve him.
How? With laughter — not anger. With satire — not seriousness. For when a clown demands a duel, the deadliest weapon is a mirror.
Imagine headlines that treat him as he treats truth:
“Robert Spencer Discovers Jihad in Kerala School Timetable.”
“Teacher Assigns Homework; Spencer Warns of Stealth Caliphate.”
“Principal Asks Students to Be Punctual; Spencer Detects Implementation of Sharia Time Zones.”
The emperor of Islamophobia stands naked, save for a tinfoil turban of conspiracy.
Mr. Ashrof, your erudite essays are wasted on such men. You could quote the Qur’an’s call to justice or India’s constitutional pluralism, and Spencer would still hear only the sound of marching minarets. His fear is not of Muslims, but of losing the apologists whose responses his career depends on. Without them, he is unemployed.
So let us not argue with him — let us ridicule him to death. Let him drown not in refutation but in laughter. For ridicule, when wielded with wit and grace, is not cruelty; it is cleansing. It strips falsehood of dignity and leaves only absurdity exposed.
The Qur’an, after all, foresaw the likes of him: “When the ignorant address them, they say, ‘Peace.’” (25:63). Peace — or, in modern terms, sarcasm delivered with a smile. The verse is not calling for retreat, but for mastery: the art of answering malice without mirroring it. To walk away laughing is not weakness; it is sovereignty of spirit.
Every Spencer thrives on reaction. But when you meet ignorance with poise — or better yet, parody — you honour both reason and revelation. You remind the world that the Prophet’s dignity was never dimmed by the mockery of fools; it was magnified by his refusal to descend to their level.
So yes, let Spencer bark from his digital pulpit about Kerala’s “jihad on school uniforms.” Let him imagine mujahideen in math class and Sharia in the staffroom. The only fitting response is a chuckle, followed by silence — for there is no weapon deadlier to falsehood than irrelevance wrapped in wit.
کسینےکہا، "ڈرکےپارجیتہے۔"
میںنےکہا، "حقیقتکےپاراسپینسرہے — اوراسکےبعدخلا۔"
A sage once said, “Victory lies beyond fear.”
I say, “Spencer lies where truth ends — and beyond him, only the void.”
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Ibn e Guffaw wields wit and irony in defence of Qur’anic reason, seeking to cleanse public discourse of both fanaticism and folly. His satire exposes absurdity, preserves dignity, and reminds readers that truth need not shout to be heard.
URL: https://www.newageislam.com/islam-politics/silence-spencer/d/137358
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