By Fa Abdul
April 28, 2015
“Not tonight. I’m tired.”
“Sorry darling, I’m not feeling well.”
“I’m having my menses.”
When a wife utters these words, how many men do you think will respect her enough to wish her “goodnight” without further persuading her into sexual intercourse with him?
None? Not many?
Well, think again.
I know of many women who are forced by their husbands to submit to sex. I have also heard of a few unfortunate ones who were sodomised by their husbands when they were incapable of having vaginal intercourse due to health reasons.
Are these couples Muslim?
For too long, marriage has been a ticket for some husbands to indulge in one of human’s basic needs – sex, without the compulsion to carry on the duties of a good, responsible man.
This takes place not only in the Muslim world, between Muslim couples, but covers all races, of all ethnicities and religions.
As a woman who was once married and a counsellor of sorts to many female friends, relatives and acquaintances, please do take my word seriously when I say sex without consent happens in many marriages – Muslim and non-Muslim.
Now, what is the difference between sex without consent and rape? Nothing.
Sex without consent IS rape.
Does the religion of the couple matter in deciding if it’s rape?
Well, does religion matter in a case of abuse?
A crime is a crime. As a rape is a rape.
It matters not if the offender is a stranger, her postman, her boss, her grandpa or even her husband – it doesn’t change the fact that a rape is a rape.
It is as simple as that.
But funny how people tend to complicate the simplest of things.
I am referring to people like Harrusani Zakaria (Perak Mufti) and Islamic organisations like Hizbut Tahrir, whose existence I have come to believe is purely to confuse others.
These are the people who claim Islam as a fair and just religion, yet make contradicting statements of how a Muslim husband is the rightful owner of his wife’s body. These religious scholars promote kindness and love in Islam, but claim a Muslim husband does not need his wife’s consent for sex. They talk of respect and tolerance, however declare that a Muslim wife must never say no to her husband and there is no provision in Islam for marital rape.
I can’t help but wonder why these religious scholars, who are supposed to uphold the image of Islam, are tarnishing it instead? Why confuse people more than they already are?
My guess would be because they are confused themselves.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand that in Islam, a husband must respect, adore, care for, and appreciate his wife. As such, how on earth can Islam permit a husband to rape his wife?
It is sickening how people claiming to be champions in matters regarding Islam, can misinterpret the religion’s basic principles, which is kindness, respect, love and understanding.
The Prophet ruled:
“There should be no harming nor reciprocating harm.” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 2340)
“Be kind to women.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3153; Muslim, 1468).
And as The Holy Quran clearly states:
“O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness…” (Surah An-Nisa, 4:19).
“…if any men do injustice, soon shall We cast them into the Fire…” (Surah An-Nisa, 4:30)
“…and women have rights similar to their husbands (as regards to obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them.” (Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:228)
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other.” (Surah Anl-Nisa, 4:34)
These verses clearly prove that Islam does not condone women being treated like sex slaves in marriage. But neither does other religions.
This brings up another issue – marital rape in the eyes of the law.
While Syariah law defines rape as an act between two unmarried individuals, making it impossible to prosecute a Muslim husband for the rape of his wife, the Penal Code allows a wife to successfully prosecute her husband for raping her.
Where is the justice, I ask you, when a religion of a victim decides the punishment of the offender? Whatever happened to the concept of justice and fairness in Islam? Is our Syariah Law even in accordance with Islam?
Our Common Law on the other hand is not all that perfect either. Under the Penal Code, a wife can only claim to be raped by her husband if she is severely traumatised due to fear or is suffering a great deal of physical injury.
So, should non-Muslim women start wishing for their husbands to beat the hell out of them during non-consensual sex in order for them to file for rape?
Looks like both laws have failed us women.
That explains why more women are willing to stay single. I don’t blame them.
Rape. Non-consensual sex. Call it whatever you want. It’s all wrong.
And that’s a fact.