Epitome of Hindu-Muslim Unity: How Assamese Muslim Have Contributed To the Composite Heritage of Assam
By
Zafri Mudasser Nofil
9 January,
2021
Marriages
in Assamese Muslim society are mainly about Islamic customs but with some
traditions common among Assamese Hindus closely entwined.
Arranged
marriages comprise two main ceremonies – Angothi Pindhuwa or Juroon
(ring ceremony or Mangni) followed by the Nikah. The groom’s family
visits the bride’s place to formally ask for her hand. After the families of
both the sides agree on the marriage, a date is fixed for the ring ceremony,
which usually takes place a few months before the wedding.
On that
day, relatives of the groom including his parents go the would-be bride’s home
and gift a gold ring, clothes, ornaments and sweets. The groom’s party is
treated to a sumptuous meal. Nowadays, in many cases, the groom also
accompanies his parents. The Juroon marks the beginning of the wedding
festivities.
Then comes
the Nikah. But before that there are a couple of short ceremonies. One is a Milad
Sharif in which a Maulvi recites some verses from the Quran and pray for
the smooth conduct to the marriage. A feast follows and the usual food items
offered at these gatherings are pulao, meat curry and meat roasts.
Murot Tel
Diya is the other
ritual before the Nikah. This is a practice which is influenced by Maah
Halodhi Diya of Assamese Hindu marriages. Oil is applied on the hair of the
bride and a paste of lentils and turmeric on her body and she is given a
ceremonial bath. The groom also goes through the same process. This practice
is, however, not prevalent among all Muslims of Assam. Ballads called Biya
Naam are also sung in many marriages, particularly in rural areas.
Representational image of Assamese marriage | Wikimedia commons
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It is very
interesting to note that the brides wear resplendent Mekhela chadors
both in the nikaah as well as the reception ceremonies while the groom dons a Sherwani
and a Pagri (turban) on the day of the Nikah and usually a western suit
on the day of the reception. This dress code can be attributed to the fact that
when the Muslims first came to Assam, they married local Assamese women. And
so, the grooms now wear the Sherwani and turban, perhaps carrying on the
legacy of their forefathers who came from outside and made Assam their homes.
And the brides kept on the Assamese tradition and wear mekhela chadors and not Lehengas
and Ghagras as are donned by girls of the community in other parts of
the country. The brides also wear traditional Assamese jewellery.
Also on the
day of the Nikah, a groom is accompanied by a Tamuli or a best man who has some
key tasks to perform. A friend of the groom who is of marriageable age is
usually chosen as a Tamuli. The term tamuli is derived from the Assamese
word Tamul (betel nut). The Tamuli helps the groom in offering Tamul
to guests, which is a tradition in Assamese society. In Assamese Hindu
marriages, the Tamuli is known as Dora Dhora. There is no such
role for a bridesmaid.
The groom
cannot move inside immediately after he arrives at the bride’s place: he has to
fulfil a demand. This is called Dang Dhora and it demonstrates that the
bride’s family won’t allow the groom to take the girl that easily. The groom is
allowed to proceed only after he agrees to a monetary demand made by some
youths from the bride’s side and pays them the amount they ask for. The Tamuli
is the person responsible for these negotiations. The elderly people from the
bride’s side welcome the groom party.
Tea and
refreshments are served to the groom party before the Nikah ceremony commences.
Kids who
are relatives of the bride then take part in a short ritual called Aator
Diya. They garland the groom as well as the Tamuli, put Itr
on their foreheads and offer milk and sweets, mostly Rosogullas to the
duo. The kids in turn are given gifts and even cash sometimes.
The main
Nikah ceremony begins with both the groom and the bride’s sides deputing a
senior member of the family or the society to conduct the proceedings. They are
called the Wakeels and they brief the people attending the function
about the two families. One of the notable features during their conversation
is the exchange of Tamul Paan (betel nut and betel leaves) in botas or
small rounded brass trays with stand. Tamul Paan is a key feature of the
Assamese socio-cultural life. The Wakeels then choose a couple of witnesses to
help them. These designated people go the bride and the groom and seek their
consent for the marriage. Both the bride and the groom reply to them saying Kobul
Korisu or Qubool Hai (I accept). The maulvi then say some prayers and the
Nikah is completed. The Nikah Laddoo is distributed among the people
along with a packet of assorted dry fruits and some sweets.
Another
integral thing of a Muslim marriage is deciding on an amount to be paid by the
groom to the bride as a gift. This Mehr amount should be given to the wife as
soon as possible. The amount decided is announced by the ukils during the
nikaah.
There is
also a practice of showing to the guests the ornaments and the clothes gifted
by both the sides to the bride. Women display these items in big trays.
Then is the
time for food, which is a lavish affair. The bride joins the groom and they are
served separately with some friends a few relatives. The rest of the groom’s
party have food together. I have written in details about the dishes served in
weddings in the chapter on food (The Assamese Muslim Kitchen).
There is
also a cake cutting ceremony by both the bride and the groom. Here too, girls
from the bride’s side quiz the groom about how much he knows about his wife.
For every incorrect answer he is ’fined’ and ends up paying a hefty amount to
the girls.
Before the
bride leaves for her new home, there is another small ritual called tamul luwa
in which her family and relatives bless the couple and present them gifts and
the newly-weds in turn give them tamul paan or mitha paan. This ceremony later
takes place at the groom’s place after their return when all his family members
and relatives are introduced to the bride. After the new couple enter the
house, kids welcome them by washing their feet. The bride throws coins in the
air for the kids to collect. A vessel full of rice is kept and in it are hidden
a gold and a silver ring. The bride is expected to find the golden ring which
will prove that she is extremely lucky for the house.
There is
another ceremony called the Aath Mongola. On the eight day of the
marriage, the couple is invited to the bride’s house and a feast is organised.
Gifts are also exchanged.
In a few
marriages, wedding bands are engaged. In his book A Study of the Folk Culture
of the Goalpara Region of Assam, Birendranath Datta mentions that marriage
songs are invariably sung in a Muslim wedding. Coupled with the dhol-shanai
bands, these songs help to make the marriage very much of a musical affair. In
Muslim marriages, there is an addition – the practice of dancing, especially at
the bride’s house.
Original
Headline: Mangni and Nikah — how Assamese Muslim marriages combine Hindu and
Islamic traditions
Source: The Print
URL: https://newageislam.com/interfaith-dialogue/epitome-hindu-muslim-unity-how/d/124038