Blind Eulogy and Advocacy of Interfaith Marriages Is Dishonesty
By
Prafull Goradia
05 March
2021
At my
niece’s wedding in a church, the officiating priest began by declaring:
“Marriage is a union; divine and indivisible.” This is a succinct way of
expressing that marriage is a sacrament; no breaking until death does the union
part.
The
Dictionary of Islam by Thomas Patrick Hughes (published by Rupa & Co) calls
marriage a Nikah, a word that in its literal sense means a conjunction. It is a
contract till the husband wants it. He can divorce his wife at pleasure by
giving a notice of three months. The wife does not have this privilege. If she
wants to separate, she has to follow the procedure of Khul, which entails
finding a Qazi and convincing him under the rules of fiqh or dogmatic theology
of Muslims.
If a Muslim
man and Hindu woman fall in love, it is recommended that they marry under the
Special Marriage Act, which does not have unequal rights nor requires the woman
to change her religion or name, whereas a Nikah insists that both partners be
of the same religion, i.e. Muslim. If the man does not wish to divorce, he can
take another wife.
It is rare
to find an interfaith marriage where the bride is a Muslim and the groom a
Hindu. Perhaps the reason is that it is impermissible for a non-Muslim to marry
a Muslim woman as he would have legal authority over her. The tenets of Islam
say that God doesn’t allow non-Muslims to have authority over Muslims. A Muslim
man can marry a non-Muslim woman, but not vice versa.
This seems
unfair, but the Islamic rationale is that a non-Muslim man will not respect his
Muslim wife’s faith. These tenets also hold that while Muslims believe in all
previous religions and Prophets of God and respect them, a non-Muslim does not
return the favour. A non-Muslim husband might not explicitly express this, but
a Muslim wife cannot expect her husband to respect her faith. Muslims believe
in only the revealed religions of the Book, not other religions. A Muslim woman
marrying a non-Muslim would eschew respect of the wife’s religion.
Some time
ago, celebrated IAS couple Tina Dabi and Athar Aamir Khan filed for divorce in
Jaipur, two years after they had tied the nuptial knot. Their love story and
marriage in 2018 had made national headlines. A video made by Tina, in which
she alleged that her Muslim husband tortured her for wearing a Burqa,
converting to Islam, reading Namaz and adopting ‘Khan’ in her name, went viral.
Even
without divorce, a Muslim male can marry up to four wives at a time; with
divorce, there is no limit on the number of wives he can have. Hinduism and
Christianity insist on only one wife. For marrying a Muslim boy, girls must
know the possibilities they face. If the boy is Muslim, his faith enjoins upon
him to produce as many children as possible so that they achieve demographic
preponderance. This is borne out by the Hadith (The Traditions, the second holy
book after the Quran; The Dictionary of Islam by Hughes). Concerned Hindus
understandably use the word ‘jihad’ in this context.
It is time
to stop romanticising interfaith marriages blindly. Marrying Muslim men does
entail legal outcomes for non-Muslim women. Today’s political discourse is less
than open in that it tends to ignore arguments of those who have issues with
such marriages. Selective quoting and presentation of only particular views as
acceptable does not help the cause of any informed debate. The current secular
outrage over interfaith marriages souring is focused on romanticising
interfaith marriages as a virtue by itself and treating all such alliances as
the same, which they regrettably are not.
The rights
of women under the Hindu Marriage Act or Special Marriage Act vary greatly from
the rights of those who wed as per the Sharia. This has particular outcomes, as
under Sharia, non-Muslim women have to first convert to Islam because this is a
condition for marriage. Thus, any non-Muslim woman marrying a Muslim man
instantly forfeits all her rights as she transits from a legal regime with more
rights to one with fewer rights. This is not reversible, as Islam does not
permit apostasy. Many women who convert for the sake of getting married,
believing they can continue to practice their faith, are quickly belied of this
notion; the faith they marry into doesn’t permit this either.
Moreover,
Hindus hold marriage to be a sacrament where even divorce is considered an
anathema (though allowed legally). Under Sharia, it is only as a contract where
a man can divorce his wife orally and instantly by simply saying talaq thrice
(till it was banned). This is the chasm between the two worlds.
Non-Muslim
women must be made aware of these consequences. The blind eulogy and advocacy
of interfaith marriages and pretending that all such alliances are of the same
nature is dishonesty. Rosy and romanticised pictures of interfaith marriages
carry the serious propensity of harming non-Muslim women, who might make hasty
and misinformed decisions only to repent and suffer later.
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Prafull
Goradia is a well-known columnist and an author. The views expressed are
personal.
Original
Headline: Stop romanticising interfaith
marriages
Source: The Daily Pioneer
URL: https://newageislam.com/interfaith-dialogue/blind-eulogy-advocacy-interfaith-marriages/d/124461
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