By
Nicole Kidman
22 Dec 2020
We have
been through the unimaginable this year. Separated from family and people we
love, our dreams put on pause, while fearing for our health and our very lives.
Nicole Kidman played
Celeste Wright, a survivor of domestic abuse, in the HBO series Big Little Lies
Photograph: HP/The Wing
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In addition
to Covid-19, a shadow pandemic has been unfolding: violence against women.
Calls to helplines increased up to fivefold in the first few weeks of the
pandemic. And an issue that was already pervasive before Covid-19 hit – evident
on the streets, in the tube or a hotel room, on the news, in a conversation
with a friend, in the scripts I read and the roles I played – became even more
pressing.
Imagine
what life is like for the women and girls who, like all of us, have to shelter
at home to stay safe from Covid-19, when home itself is not a safe place. Where
you are being assaulted, abused, manipulated, or constantly guarded by partners
or family members. For every three months the lockdown continues, an additional
15 million women around the world are expected to be affected by violence,
while support services, counselling, shelters for survivors will be severely
strained.
Along with
domestic abuse, there has been an upsurge in all types of violence against
women and girls. From harassment on the almost empty streets, to cyberbullying,
to the young girls whose families’ increased financial burdens lead to them
being removed from school and forced into marriage.
As UN
Women’s goodwill ambassador since 2006, I have learned much about the horrific
scope of violence against women around the world and seen its devastating
impact.
When I
first heard that one in three women and girls experience violence in their
lifetime, I was utterly shocked. I visited Kosovo that year and heard the
stories of women who had been victims of sexual violence, war widows, and women
who were still searching for missing family. I listened. I listened to how
violence had fragmented their lives and the lives of their children, about
lives lost and dreams shattered and their struggles and victories in overcoming
great adversities. I witnessed their strength and resilience to rebuild.
Playing the
role of Celeste, a lawyer and survivor of domestic abuse in Big Little Lies,
strengthened my stance on this issue. I felt very exposed and vulnerable and
deeply humiliated as I told her story – even though playing that character is
nothing compared to what women in abusive relationships actually face every
single day. I would keep on my brave face during shooting, only to go home and
realise how much it had affected me.
But then I
would recall the stories of strength and resilience of the survivors and
activists I had met, and that pushed me to lend my voice to those who do not
have a platform to share their own.
Everyone
has a role to play and power to contribute to ending violence against women and
girls, even during this pandemic. It starts by listening, believing survivors.
When someone says she has been attacked, her sobriety, clothes and sexuality
are irrelevant. Even small actions like calling out toxic behaviours in a
friend or sharing relevant information in a group chat, for instance, can go a
long way.
Growing up
with a feminist mother, it never occurred to me that I could be at a
disadvantage because I was born a girl. As a mother myself today, I know how
important it is to nurture self-esteem, challenge stereotypes and
discrimination, and to set an example for the younger generation. We need to
start having conversations at home about gender roles early on, and talk with
our boys and girls about consent, bodily autonomy and accountability.
Your voice
counts. Learn about abuse and the ways you can help through the services and
resources available. Reach out if you are concerned about a friend who may be
experiencing violence or feels unsafe. Use your social media channels or
community spaces to raise awareness. If the means allow, make a donation to
organisations around the world who are providing survivors essential services,
such as shelter, healthcare and access to justice, in the face of severe
funding cuts.
Violence
against women and girls was already widespread before the pandemic. Whether it
will outlive it, or not, it’s on us all.
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Nicole
Kidman is an actor and UN Women goodwill ambassador
Original
Headline: The roles I've played brought home to me the scourge of violence
against women
Source: The Guardian, UK
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